Rebel with cause
by Dareia
Summary: Alex Sawyer back in Dillon, which could mean only one thing: trouble. Tim/OC, rated M because of language and possible violence in the upcoming chapters. Review, please if you want to read more.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey, Ladies,  
I can't get this idea out of my head for months, so I decided to give it a try. Hope you will like it :)  
I will continoue it if I get feedback. So please, please, please, if you want to read more, then review.**

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**PROLOGUE**

Alex knelt beside her black 1969 Chevrolet Camaro, cursing under her breath as she struggled to change the tire.

That was her luck. She'd gotten a puncture in the middle of nowhere, and if that hadn't been enough, she didn't bring any water with her. She forgot how damn hot the sun could burn in Texas.

She already saw her picture on the front page of the newspapers, or the epitaph on her grave: Alexandra Sawyer died of serious idiocy. She forgot to bring water with her.

At least she had her sunglasses. She would die stylishly. That was something, she thought.

Alex rolled her eyes, annoyed, as a car stopped. She so wasn't in the mood to deal with a perverse idiot right now.

"Do ya need help?" The low voice asked.

"Do I look like somebody who needs help?" She asked sharply, tossing her long black hair away from her face.

"Lexy?" The guy asked surprised.

"My name is Alex…" she started to protest automatically, but stopped when she looked at the guy.

"Timmy?" she asked with a huge grin on her face.

"Oh my God! I can't believe it's you," she screamed as she ran toward him, practically jumping at Tim before she hugged him tight.

"Wow, you've grown up, dude," she said, patting Tim on the shoulder, as she pulled away from him and took off her sunglasses.

"You did, too," Tim smirked as he looked over at Alex, his eyes stopping on her chest.

"Yeah, well, I did. But I tell you, last time I checked my eyes were still up here," she motioned to her eyes, laughing.

"Do you need help?" Tim asked grinning as he looked at her car.

"No worries. I'm almost done," Alex waved as she knelt down next to her car again. "Though, you could give me something to drink or I swear I will die."

"Here," Tim said as he took out a bottle of water from his truck and threw it to Alex.

"You are a walking god, Tim Riggins. I thought I would die, shriveled up like a raisin," Alex said after she took a huge sip of water.

"You forgot to bring water with you. Typical," Tim mumbled rolling his eyes as he leant on his truck, admiring Alex's beautiful curves.

Alex wasn't a usual southern girl. She was pretty pale, her skin was so white she looked like a porcelain doll with her huge deep oceanic blue eyes and long raven black hair. She had miles of long legs and beautiful curves.

"Shut up," Alex laughed.

"What are ya doin here?" Tim asked smiling as he watched Alex.

"I'm back in black, baby, comin' home for good," she answered as she screwed on the last bolt.

"Got tired of the big city?"

"They got a soccer team," she said as she stood up and pulled a little lower her black tank top.

"That's what I thought, too," Alex said as she heard Tim huffing.

"Let's go to Applebees. Tyra will be frantic when she sees you," Tim said as he headed to his truck.

Alex took the tools to the trunk. She could feel Tim's eyes on her as she walked to the door of the car.

"Stop the nasty thoughts, Timmy boy. I could still kick your pretty little ass if I want to," Alex laughed.

"You think I got a pretty ass," Tim grinned as he got in his truck.

"Jerk," Alex shout still laughing.

"Bitch," Tim answered, also laughing as he started the engine.

Alex got in her car, grinning insanely. It felt so good being back in Texas. She was happy Tim was the first person she ran into.

They were used to be like siamese twins. There was no Alex without Tim and no Tim without Alex. They were 'that Riggins boy' and 'that Sawyer girl'. The trouble-makers of Dillon's little town. With Tyra and Jason their little inner circle was full.

It was 3 years ago she moved to New York with her mom and God knew she hated every minute of it. Alex didn't want to leave Dillon but her mom decided to go, so they moved.

Life in New York sucked big time. As usual, Alex's mom was way too pre-occupied with her boyfriends and Alex had no intentions of making new friends. In her view, the people who attended her new school were just a bunch of assholes, including her ex-boyfriend, Ryan who was the biggest ass of all of them.

The only thing Alex would miss were the races on the streets of New York. Cars were the only thing she loved almost as much as she loved football. Though, racing couldn't replace home.

So, when she woke up three days ago, Alex decided she had had enough. She gave the papers about emancipation to her mom. Her mom yelled and cried fake tears. When she was done with the big scene, she signed the papers and told Alex to do what she want.

And Alex did. Finally, she was free. She packed her stuff, got in her car and left. She went back to the only place she could call home: Dillon.

Alex's heart jumped a little when she saw the sign-post "Welcome to Dillon". As she drove through the town, and saw the old places where she was raised, that almost everything was the same as she remembered Alex smiled. God, it was great to be home, she thought.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey, Ladies,  
Here it is. Thanks for the reviews. I will upload again, if I get feedback. You can tell me if you don't like something, I will try to change ;)**

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**CHAPTER 1  
THE BITCH IS BACK**

When Alex stepped into the Applebees with Tim, another rush of excitement ran through her body. The place was just like she remembered: full of high school students, the tv set to the sport channel, the smell of hamburgers and fries filled the air.

"Hey, Julie," Tim turned to one of the waitress.

"Oh, hey, Tim," the girl greeted him.

Alex tried to hide her smile as she saw the girl blushing. She was sure there wasn't any female who could resist that Riggins charm. Not to mention even she had to admit, Tim had grown up nicely and she was way sure he also knew how to use it.

"Have ya seen Tyra?" Tim asked as he looked around.

"I think she's back in the kitchen," the girl said, shrugging a little.

"Thanks," Tim mumbled. "You stay here," he said to Alex before he went to find their friends.

"You're bossy," Alex complained, rolling her eyes.

"Stay," Tim pointed at her.

"Yes, sir," Alex saluted, grinning.

The girl, who Tim called Julie, looked at Alex with undisguised curiosity in her eyes. Alex smiled at her before she turned her attention back to Tim.

"Collette," Tim called when he stepped to the entry of the kitchen.

"What?" Alex heard the irritated voice of Tyra and giggled a little. That was just so Tyra.

"Look who I found next to the road," Tim said.

"If it isn't Johnny Depp or George Clooney, I don't care," Tyra answered.

"Just come out," Tim commanded, frustrated.

"I'm trying to work…" Tyra started as she left the kitchen but stopped when she saw Alex.

"Hi, Tyra," Alex grinned at her.

"Oh. My. God. No way!" Tyra stared at Alex in disbelief.

"I can't believe you're here," Tyra screamed as she pulled Alex in a huge hug.

The two girls jumped up and down, both of them screaming about how much they missed each other. Tim rolled his eyes but grinned as he watched them.

"Collette, when you stopped the screaming, you could bring me some food," Tim smirked as when the girls finally stopped jumping around like they were insane.

"Shut up, Riggins," Tyra and Alex yelled at the same time, and bursted into laughing.

"How I knew it won't be any good for me when you two met again," Tim mumbled as he sat down at a table.

"Oh, Julie, come here. I would like you to meet my friend here," Tyra waved to the girl Tim talked to before.

"Julie, this is Alex Sawyer, my best friend. She's a real bitch, but you'll like her," Tyra said to Julie.

"Tyra, you hurt my feelings," Alex said, looking at Tyra hurt.

"Alex, this is Julie Taylor. She's the Coach's daughter," Tyra said, ignoring Alex's little comment.

"Wow, you are one lucky girl then," Alex said to Julie.

"I would use some other words…" Julie muttered causing Alex look at her questioningly.

"Sore point," Tyra whispered to Alex.

"Oh, well, I'm sorry. Anyway, it's nice to meet you, Julie," Alex offered her hand.

"Nice to meet you, too," Julie smiled at her shyly, shaking her hand.

"Just remember, whatever you hear about me is true… unless it's nothing good," Alex laughed.

Alex decided Julie was a little weird, but she seemed nice enough. Though she couldn't understand what was wrong with being the daughter of the Coach. Alex's dad was the coach of the Panthers before he died when Alex was only 7 years old.

That was why she loved football so much. Her dad always took her to the practices and she was there on every single match, cheering for him.

Alex missed her dad in every minute of her life. After his death, everything changed. First, her mom dug in her work and later came the first man, the second, the third and so on. Alex stopped counting around the tenth. That was when she started to run wild.

For a while, people were forgiving of her. They thought poor little girl, she lost her daddy. But as the time went by and Alex caused more and more trouble everyday, people stopped seeing her as Coach Sawyer's grieving daughter and she became 'that Sawyer girl'.

"I hate to say it but I have to go back to work," Tyra sighed. "But hey, when I'm done here, you should come to us. Mindy is working, but Mom will be happy to see you."

"Sounds like a plan," Alex nodded, smiling.

"Now that ya have a plan, can I get my burger?" Tim smirked.

"Unbelievable," Tyra mumbled as she left.

"Tell me some juicy gossip," Alex said when she sat down on the opposite side of the table in front of Tim.

"Do you really ask _me_ about gossip?" Tim looked at Alex almost laughing at her.

"Well, who should I ask? Tyra doesn't have time at the moment and you are here, so I ask you. What about Jason? Where is he?" Alex asked.

Tim shifted uncomfortable, staring out the window as he looked away. Alex swallowed hard. She knew that face too well.

"Timmy?" she asked, almost whispering, afraid of the worst.

"Jason is paralyzed," Tim answered numbly.

"What?" Alex asked, shocked. "But what, what happened?"

Old memories of them ran through her mind. Jason had such a promising future. She just couldn't believe he was in a wheelchair.

"Last year, the season opening," Tim said still not looking at her.

Alex knew Tim too well to try to ask more. Also, she exactly knew how hard it was talking about such a painful thing. When her dad died she didn't talk to anybody about it. Actually, she never talked about it, not just then.

"Here's your goddamn burger," Tyra dropped the plate in front of Tim.

"What?" Tyra looked between them.

"Tim just told me about Jason," Alex answered.

"Oh, that's just terrible," Tyra sighed. "And you haven't even heard the rest of it," Tyra added, looking sharply at Tim.

Alex raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"I will tell you. I'm almost finished with my shift," Tyra said as she gave one more nasty look to Tim and left.

"Wait a minute," Alex looked at Tim with wide eyes.

"No way. You and Tyra?" she asked in disbelief.

Tim shrugged as he took a bite from his burger.

"Geesh, if somebody told me that, I would never have believed it," she laughed so hard, her stomach hurt.

"Tim, I just can't believe you're sitting here like you've got nothing better to do," Lyla rushed in, causing Alex almost chock on her coke.

"Or I'd better said I can't believe I thought you would change. I hoped maybe if you found God and faith… but you are hopeless, Tim Riggins" Lyla said, her voice rising.

"Lyla, I…" Tim started but Lyla interrupted him.

Alex looked at them with wide eyes. That just wasn't possible Tim got something with Lyla. He couldn't. And did she say God and faith?

Alex and Lyla used to be friends. When Alex's father died, Lyla couldn't deal with the situation. She started to neglect Alex and left her alone. Though they were just children Alex felt she was betrayed by her best friend.

That was the time when Alex became friends with Tim and Tyra. Through the years, Alex had not only stopped talking to Lyla, she really started to hate her. They were like fire and water. There wasn't anything common between them anymore.

Alex hated Lyla's 'I'm Miss Perfect' attitude, the way she thought she was better than everybody. There was one thing Alex hated more than anything in the word: when people looked at her with pity in their eyes and Lyla did.

"We were counting on you. Chris and I waited more than an hour for you to show up. I don't even know to think. Alex?" Lyla looked at Alex, surprised, when she finally finished her little scene.

"Garrity, Garrity…" Alex sighed, playing with a lighter between her fingers.

"You know I prayed every night you'd disappear from Earth and still… Look, here you are, shining in all of your glory with your pain-in-the-ass perfection. Too bad, seems like there is no God after all. How sad…" Alex said as she sighed dramatically, shaking her head.

"I'm done," Tyra stepped next to the table.

"Garrity," Tyra looked sharply at Lyla who stood there shocked.

"I can see on your face you already talked to Alex. It's awesome, she's back, isn't it?" Tyra said with a mean smile on her face. "We can go," she turned to Alex.

"I'm sad I have to leave now. But Lyla, you don't have to worry, I'm staying in Dillon for good," Alex grinned at Lyla, patting her on the shoulder.

"See ya around, Timmy," she said as she placed a kiss on Tim's cheek.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey, Ladies. Thanks for the reviews and the alerts/faves. There isn't much action in this chapter but I felt like I had to do it like this. Hope you'll like it :) Update after reviews.**

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**CHAPTER 2  
CATCHING UP**

"Alex Sawyer, is that you?" Mrs. Collette screamed happily when Tyra and Alex arrived.

"Good evening, Mrs. Collette," Alex greeted the oldest Collette woman with a huge smile.

Alex always loved Tyra's mother. Maybe she was a little crazy and had some issues, but she would do anything for her daughters, unlike Alex's mother.

"Oh my God, you are beautiful." Mrs. Collette hugged Alex.

"Thank you."

"How was New York? I'm sure you've got lots of things to tell us," Mrs Collette said as she started to pull Alex toward the couch.

"Mom, leave her alone. We'll be in my room," Tyra said rolling her eyes as she grabbed Alex's arm and started to pull her to her room.

"Tyra, don't be mean," Mrs. Collette complained.

"I'm not mean, Mom. I just want my friend to myself for her first night home," Tyra answered, closing the door of her room.

"Your mom hasn't changed at all," Alex giggled as she hopped to the bed.

"She will never change," Tyra answered, shaking her head.

"Now spill it, girl. I wanna know everything, every little detail," Alex said excited, crossing her legs.

"There's so much to catch up on," Tyra said, sitting next to her friend.

"Start with you and Tim. How the hell did that happen?" Alex asked, truly wondering how Tim and Tyra could get together.

"It's just happened," Tyra answered, shrugging.

"Tim was a dick as usual. It was mostly about sex anyway," Tyra added.

"Don't go there, Collette, I've decided I don't wanna know every detail," Alex laughed.

"I didn't want to tell you about that part, you pervert," Tyra said, rolling her eyes.

"So we were on and off all the time. And then Jason got paralyzed," Tyra sighed.

"You know things really changed after you left," Tyra added.

"What do you mean?" Alex looked curiously at her.

"Our little inner circle ended when Jason fell in love with Lyla," Tyra groaned.

"I can't decide which one is more gross you and Tim or Lyla and Jason," Alex said.

"I've got the answer, Tim and Lyla," Tyra laughed a little bitterly.

"You've gotta be kidding me," Alex said with wide eyes.

Alex thought about it after the scene at Applebees but she'd decided there was no way Tim would have anything to do with Lyla. Seem like she'd been wrong.

"I wish. After Jason got paralyzed, Lyla cheated on him with Tim," Tyra informed Alex.

"Oh my God! Cheating on your paralyzed boyfriend with his best friend? Who does that?" Alex said indignantly.

"Garrity did for sure," Tyra shook her head. "That was also the end of Tim and me. I mean I forgave him every damn cheerleader and rally girl but Lyla…"

"Well, Tim was just being Tim but Lyla… It seems like Miss Perfect isn't so perfect after all," Alex said.

"The point is that Tim wasn't Tim. The guy is in love with Lyla," Tyra explained, rolling her eyes.

"Oh, no," Alex groaned, putting her hand over her mouth.

Even the thought scared her. If Tim was in love with Garrity, they couldn't be friends anymore. She couldn't stand Lyla, not even for Tim.

"Yeah, after all this shit happened Lyla found Jesus and now as far as I know she's with this Chris guy and Tim is running after her like some pathetic dog," Tyra said.

"Oh, no. Is it like a cult? Does she take Tim to a sect or something?" Alex asked, terrified of the thought.

Although, in a weird way, it was funny to imagine Tim at church.

"I dunno, something like that. But move on and tell me everything about New York. I'm sure you had much more interesting things to tell," Tyra said impatiently.

"There's nothing much to tell. New York sucks and that's it," Alex answered, bored.

"Oh, no. Come on. Seriously, just something," Tyra pleaded.

"'Kay, I've got some photos in the car."

After Tyra got the photos from Alex, she asked question after question. Where was that? Who you were with? What were you doing there? Alex laughed at Tyra, but she answered every question.

She told Tyra about the clubs, the car races, her school and the people she knew.

"Wow, who is the hottie with you here?" Tyra asked with a photo in her hand.

"Show me," Alex leaned closer peeking on the picture. "Oh, that's Ryan, my ex."

"Girl, New York couldn't be that bad with a guy like this," Tyra laughed.

"He was a dick. We broke up after I beat him in a race and won his car," Alex grinned. "He doesn't really like lose, especially not to a woman."

"Is that his car you came with?" Tyra asked.

"Yep. I left after I got the car," Alex answered. "I can imagine how furious he'd be when he found out."

"Did you see all of it?" Alex asked Tyra.

"Yep," Tyra nodded, giving back the photos.

"Then I think I'd better go, it's late."

"Do you wanna stay here for the night?" Tyra asked.

"No, I'd like to go see Daddy," Alex answered, filling the light atmosphere with sadness.

"Oh, yeah, sure," Tyra nodded, didn't really know what to say.

"I'll see you around." Alex hugged Tyra before she left.

Alex stopped her car in front of the cemetery. She got out and looked around if anybody could see her. The night was quiet, nobody was there, except Alex. The chilly wind blew her hair into her face. She shivered a little and put on her leather jacket.

Alex looked around one more time and crawl in the cemetery. It wasn't a new thing for Alex sneak into the cemetery. She did all the time. Alex didn't like to go to her father's grave when other people were around.

"Hey, Daddy," Alex sighed as she stopped in front of her father's grave.

Alex always believed that her father heard her, even if he couldn't reply.

"It's been a long time, but I told you I would come back," she said and sat down on the ground.

"I hope you don't mind, but I had to leave Mom. She's worse than ever. New York drove her even more crazy. Her actual boyfriend is a Chippendale. Can you believe it? And my birthday gift was he stripped for me," Alex giggled a little.

She had gotten some embarrassing gifts from her mother through the years but this last one was the winner.

"Have you heard about Jason? He's paralyzed. It's so sad. I'm going to visit him tomorrow," Alex said, picking the grass around her.

"Oh, and Timmy. Daddy, you would be so proud of him. He's the fullback of the Panthers. I can't wait to go to a game." she said, excited.

"But something surely went wrong with him. You won't believe it but he's in love with Lyla," she said in disbelief.

"I know, I know. I will have to beat some sense into that head of his. But I've got a feeling everything is going to be fine now that I'm home," Alex smiled.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey, Ladies! Sorry for the lack of update but I've got tones of exams and projects to finish plus I'm ill :( Reviews=updates**

**Thanks for the reviews and the new faves/alerts :D Enjoy ;)**

**CHAPTER 3  
LET'S MAKE SOME MEMORIES**

"Good morning, Mrs. Street," Alex smiled when the door opened.

"Oh, Alex," Jason's mother greeted her with a big hug. "I heard you came back."

"Good news spreads fast, bad news even faster," Alex laughed as she closed the door.

"Don't be silly. Why would it be bad that you're back?"

Alex knew Mrs. Street was just polite. Though she never judged Alex or Tim, she was fully aware people in Dillon didn't like the two kids very much.

"Is Jason home?" Alex asked.

"He's sleeping," Mrs. Street answered.

"Well, then I think he deserves a real Sawyer raising," Alex grinned and headed to Jason room.

"Good morning, Jason Street," Alex shouted as she jumped on Jason.

"What?" Jason looked surprised.

Alex laughed. She sat on Jason and watched his face as he tried to wake up and she burs into laughter.

"Alex," Jason groaned, his eyes still closed.

"Are you happy to see me?" she asked cheerfully.

"No," Jason answered and put a pillow on his head.

"Hey, come on. You can't sleep. I'm here," Alex hit him on the shoulder.

"You're still a bullying witch, Alex," Jason said.

"Okay, well I can go if you want," Alex started out with fake hurt in her voice.

"And you're still a drama queen. But I missed you," Jason smiled.

"Oh, and?" Alex turned back.

"And I'm begging you to stay," Jason rolled his eyes.

"Well, in that case I'm considering staying despite your rude behavior," Alex said as she hopped back to the bed next to Jason.

"That's very nice of you, Alex," Jason laughed.

"What can I say? I'm just such a kindhearted person," Alex grinned.

"Sure you are."

Mrs. Street sent Alex and Jason to buy some things for dinner. She decided to make Alex's favorite menu to celebrate her homecoming. Alex was glad she was still welcomed at the Streets' house. There weren't many people she could count on but the Streets were one of them.

Alex and Jason talked about everything: Jason being paralyzed, life in New York, Lyla and Tim.

"Isn't she that Sawyer girl?" an old woman looked at Alex at the grocery.

"Yes, she is. I heard she came back. Supposedly she's running from police," the other woman answered as she watched Alex and Jason scornfully.

"Sorry. Some things are never change," Jason rolled his eyes.

"Never mind. I missed it," Alex waved at him.

"Did you?" Jason looked at her surprised.

"Sure. I mean, in New York nobody knows nobody. But in Dillon, I'm still that Sawyer girl. And I'm running from the law. You can be my Clyde," she laughed.

The rest of the day went nicely. Alex helped Mrs. Street in the kitchen. Jason and Alex also watched football on TV, teased each other and laughed until tears started to roll.

"So what do you say we go get Timmy and make some memories tonight?" Alex asked Jason after they finished dinner.

"That I don't like when you and Timmy make memories 'cause they never end up well," Jason answered.

"Don't be such an old lady. You know you want to. I'm fun," Alex grinned at him.

"Fine," Jason sighed.

"I'm glad I didn't have to use force. It would be a shame to hurt that pretty face," Alex said as she placed a kiss on Jason's cheek.

"Lexy," Billy greeted Alex with a huge grin as she entered the house.

"Hey, Billy," Alex hugged him.

"Wow, you've grown up, girl," Billy said as he looked over at her, his eyes stopping on her chest.

"Ah, you are just like your brother," Alex groaned. "By the way, where is he? Jason's waiting in the car."

"I'm here," Tim said as he left his room. "You're so loud you wake the dead."

"You'd better be awake because we're going out. Come on," Alex started to pull Tim out of the house.

"Sorry, old man, you aren't invited. This is a young party," Alex laughed at Billy before she closed the door.

Alex was right about the fun part. They talked about old memories and the mess they always made together. It was a great night. Alex didn't want anything more than getting back her friends and she really enjoyed sharing old memories with them.

"For being a waste. Cheers," Alex said and drank another shot of tequila.

Jason and Tim watched in disbelief how much Alex drank. She drank tequila like it was water.

"That's going to kill ya, Sawyer," Tim said when Alex light a cigarette.

"Then what?" she rolled her eyes. "Oh, that's one of my fave song," she screamed as "Cherry Pie" by Warrant started to play.

"Turn it up," she said to the bartender.

Alex started to dance to the music. Jason and Tim looked around worriedly. The bar was full of men and Alex already had their attention.

By the middle of the song, she was dancing on the counter. Every eye was on Alex. Her long legs coiled around the pole between the ceiling and the counter and her black hair flew with her as she spinned around.

Tim watched Alex with huge eyes. He swallowed hard as Alex's body swayed in time with the music.

"Tim," Jason looked at him. "Tim," he yelled at Tim.

"What?" Tim asked, his eyes still on Alex.

"Don't," Jason said.

Tim moved his gaze to Jason like he didn't know what his friend was talking about.

"Don't even think about it," Jason protested.

Instead of answering, Tim just smirked, causing Jason rolling his eyes.

"I'm serious, Tim," Jason said again.

"Fine. I got it," Tim answered.

"Thank you so much. You are an amazing audience," Alex bowed as the song finished.

"Let's get her home," Tim said as he looked around and saw a whole bar of men waiting to get Alex.

"Come on, Sawyer, we're going," Tim started to pull out Alex.

"It was nice to meet you guys," Alex waved as they left the bar.

Alex could barely walk so she leant on Tim's shoulder.

"There's my car," she pointed to her car when she realized they weren't going in the right direction.

"I'll take you home," Tim said as he stopped to get his keys.

"I can drunk. No. Wait. I can drive. Yeah! That's it. See, I can even speak," Alex grinned proudly.

"Hey, watch me. I can also walk the line. Walk the line, that's an awesome song. Also, a great film. Joaquin Phoenix is yummy," she giggled as she tried to walk next to Tim's truck.

"Did she say yummy?" Jason asked, laughing.

"I think she did. You stay with me tonight," Tim said and pulled Alex to the truck.

"Oh, like in the old times when you didn't run after Miss Perfection like a pathetic puppy?"

"Yeah, like that," Tim sighed as he closed the door.

"She's drunk. She didn't mean it," Jason said as he saw the hurt on Tim's face.

"Garrity won't be happy about it," Alex giggled again.

"She did," Tim answered.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey, Ladies. Long time no update, but now here's a nice long chapter. Hope you like it. Thank you so much for the reviews and new faves/alerts. I love getting know your opinions, it helps where I should heading with this. Keep it coming ;)**

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**song: Satellite Heart by Anya Marina**

**CHAPTER 4  
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU, MAN?**

"Morning," Alex greeted Billy with her eyes still half closed.

She was wearing one of Tim's Panthers jersey. Alex remembered complaining about sleeping in her clothes, so Tim had thrown it to her. Last night was crazy and the morning after was insanely bad.

"Morning," Billy looked over at her, not bothering to hide the fact that he liked what he saw.

"What are ya staring at? Haven't you seen a woman in a jersey yet?" Alex rolled her eyes as she sat to the counter.

"Did you know you're even louder when you're drunk?" Billy asked.

"Just give me a beer and ice cream. Tell me you still have ice cream all the time," Alex said, leaning her head at the counter.

"You want ice cream and beer?" Billy raised an eyebrow in disbelief.

"Yes. I'm hung over so I need a beer and ice cream," Alex groaned.

"Here ya go, crazy chick," Billy put a bottle and a box of vanilla ice cream in front of her.

"Hey, Timmy," Alex smiled when Tim appeared in the kitchen. "We had a great night yesterday."

"Yeah, you surely had. Are you drinking beer?" Tim looked at the bottle in Alex hand.

"Yep. Do you want one?" putting ice cream into her mouth.

"Why are you drinking beer at 7 in the morning?"

"Since when is it a problem for you?" Alex looked narrowly at Tim.

"Since he's with the nun," Billy laughed.

"Amazing. Next time I see you, you'll be singing gospel songs with the bitch," Alex said, rolling her eyes.

"Why can't you just let her be? You were kids, Sawyer. Move on," Tim said, regretting his words at the moment they left his mouth.

The spoon stopped in Alex's hand as she listened. She knew this was going to happen. Though she'd hoped Tim wouldn't choose Lyla over her. What was she thinking?

"Fine, I'm out," Alex said, hopping off her chair and starting to the door.

"Lexy," Tim grabbed her arm, trying to stop her.

"Fuck you, Riggins," Alex said, pushing away Tim's hand.

"Do you wanna go in my jersey?" Tim asked.

"Why? Have you got a problem with it, too? Here's your damn jersey," Alex took it off and threw it to Tim's face, leaving herself standing only in her bra and panties.

"You can give it to your precious love," she yelled, grabbing her clothes from the floor.

"You don't even have a car," Tim said as Alex opened the door.

"But I've got legs," she said rushing out of the house with her clothes in her hand.

"Nice ones, actually," Billy said causing Tim give him a nasty look.

Alex wanted to get her car but the walk to the bar was longer than she thought so it was the middle of the day when Alex finally arrived at school. She was so mad at Tim, she could kill him. Alex felt betrayed. Tim was her best friend. He had to know that it still did matter, even if they were only kids back then.

Tim knew how lost she was after her dad died. He knew because he was the one who helped her through it. And now he threw it in her face like it wasn't a big deal. It was a big deal, no matter how old they'd been.

The hall was full of students. Alex hoped she wouldn't run into Tim or Lyla because she wasn't in the mood to deal with them.

"Hell if that isn't little Alex Sawyer the Smash sees over there," Smash laughed at her.

"Hey there, Smash," Alex grinned.

Alex always liked Smash. He had big mouth and it was irritating that he talked about himself as "The Smash" but at the same time it was fun to be around him because he could always made her laugh.

"Little Alex Sawyer who isn't so little anymore," Smash grinned, turning Alex around.

"Does the Smash like what he sees?" Alex smiled at him sweetly.

"The Smash definitely likes what he sees," Smash nodded.

"That's great, cause you won't get any closer," Alex laughed, giving a light kiss to Smash's cheek.

"Call me when you change your mind," Smash waved at her.

"Hey, girlie, I was looking for you everywhere," Tyra yelled when she saw Alex. "I asked your worse half but he refused to answer."

"Don't even mention him," Alex groaned.

"I see, Tim did it again. What a surprise," Tyra rolled her eyes.

"Hey, Alex," Julie stopped next to them.

"Hi, Julie," Alex smiled at her.

"Hello, ladies," a guy greeted them, stopping next to Tyra.

"Alex, this is Landry. Landry, this is Alex," Tyra motioned between them.

"Nice to meet you. I'm her boyfriend," Landry grinned at Alex.

"You are not my boyfriend, Landry," Tyra groaned.

"You can keep that saying, it still will be true," Landry answered causing both Julie and Alex laugh.

"I gotta go get my schedule," Alex said.

"We can walk you there. Julie's mom is the principal," Tyra said.

"Your mom is the principal? Poor girl," Alex shook her head, looking at Julie.

"Tell me about it," Julie sighed.

"Don't listen to her. Mrs. T. is awesome." Tyra rolled her eyes.

"Hello, I'm looking for Principal Taylor," Alex stepped into the office.

"Oh, hi. You must be Alexandra Sawyer," Tami greeted Alex behind her table.

"Alex."

"Alex it is then. Have a seat," Tami motioned to the chairs.

"I'm just here for my schedule," Alex said.

She wanted to get away as soon as it was possible no matter how 'awesome' was Julie's mom. Alex never had great relationship with teachers. They didn't like her because she was a problematic kid and she didn't like them because they didn't like her.

"You'll get it after we talk," Tami said, taking a stack of papers from her desk. "Did you arrive just now?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Can I ask you why?"

"I had a little car problem," Alex sighed, bored.

"Alright. From now on try to be here for first period. So, you're emancipated, right?" Tami asked, reading the papers in her hand.

"Yes, ma'am," Alex sighed.

"That's a big responsibility for a 17-year old," Tami said.

Alex shrugged. She could take care of herself. It wasn't such a huge deal. She was already emancipated before the papers, she didn't even get money from her mom. Maybe there wasn't car racing in Dillon, but Tyra already said she could work in Applebees.

"Your grades are quite good," Tami smiled at her.

Alex never really cared about learning, but she read a lot and other things just stuck in her brain. She always got good grades when she decided to write something more on her paper than just her name.

"But you got six detention in only one semester," Tami looked at the papers, surprised. "How did you avoid getting suspended?"

"My mom slept with the principal," Alex answered simply.

"Excuse me?" Tami looked at her, shocked.

"I made the same face when I found out about it," Alex smiled cynically. "But my mom was happy, I wasn't, so everything was normal."

"I see," Tami nodded with wide eyes. "Okay, Alex. As you may know things here… don't work like that. But I can tell you for sure that if you try to stay out of trouble, we won't have any problem."

"I'll try," Alex said, thinking to herself that trying and doing were not the same.

"And if you need any help, you can come to me anytime. I know it can't be easy being alone at your age," Tami smiled at Alex.

"Can I get my schedule now?" Alex asked, standing up.

"Sure. Here you go, honey." Tami gave her the papers.

"Thanks. Goodbye, Mrs. Taylor."

Alex couldn't decide what to think about Mrs. Taylor. She seemed to be a thorough woman but there was something about her that made her different from other people Alex had met. Everybody judged her from the first minute and they never bothered to get know her.

There wasn't a clean card for Alex. But Mrs. Taylor didn't look at her with pity or scorn. She looked at her with concern and it surprised Alex. Maybe Tyra was right about her, Alex thought.

After school Alex went to Applebees with Tyra and got the job. She would start next Monday. Alex was glad she got it, because she could spend more time with Tyra and she really needed money.

In the evening Alex decided to go to the field. She sneaked in just like she did at the cemetery. Alex sat down at the middle of the field and just enjoyed being there. She breathed in the smell of the grass and stared at the stars above her head. There wasn't a sky like that anywhere else in the world.

_So pretty/so smart,  
__Such a waste of a young heart_

Alex started to sing. She did it sometimes. Just sitting and singing about her thoughts, about her feelings. It came naturally for her.

_What a pity/what a sham  
__What's the matter with you, man?_

She continued, allowing herself to think about Tim.

_Don't you see it's wrong/can't you get it right?  
__Out of mind and outta sight_

What did happen with them? They used to laugh together at Lyla, made fun of her and now…

_I'm a satellite heart/lost in the dark_

Alex felt terrible about fighting with Tim. He meant too much to her, enough to hurt her. That was why she didn't trust people. They always let you down.

_I'm spun out so far/you stop, I start  
__But I'll be true to you_

"Hi," a guy greeted her from behind her back.

"Oh, hey," Alex turned around. "You're Landry, right? Tyra's non-boyfrinend boyfriend," she smiled at him.

"Yes. I just saw somebody was on the field and you know… It was beautiful. What you sang. It was great."

"Thanks," Alex stood up, dusting her jeans.

"I've got a band. You should listen to us, maybe you could even sing with us," Landry suggested walking next to Alex.

"Oh, I don't sing, at least not in public."

Singing was a sore point for Alex. Her dad adored when she sang, he called Alex his little singing bird and always said she was going to be a famous singer. After his death Alex didn't sing anymore. Several years later, she started to sing again. But never in public. Alex only sang when she was alone and only because singing made her calm.

"But I'd like to see your band," Alex added as they left the field.

"Great. Then, we'll talk about it," Landry grinned at her, happily.

"Sure. Good night."

"Bye," Landry waved.

Tim was on his way home when he saw Alex's car next to the field. He wanted to make up with her. He hated fighting with her. He knew he was out of line bringing up what happened with Lyla when they were kids. But he also hated that Alex was making him choose between Lyla and her. Why couldn't he love them both?

He stopped the truck next to Alex's car and got out. He started toward the field when he saw a movement in the car. He went to the car and saw Alex was sleeping on the back seat. Tim sighed and knocked on the window.

"What?" Alex woke with a start.

"What are you doing?" Tim asked, smirking at her.

"What does it look like to you? Trying to sleep, dude. And you know how much I hate to be awakened," Alex groaned, giving a nasty look to Tim.

"You didn't say you don't have a place," Tim said.

"You didn't ask and it's only until I'll get my first paycheck from Applebees," Alex answered.

"Come on, you can stay at my place," Tim sighed.

"Isn't there a rule about girls sleeping on your couch, too?" Alex asked, sarcastically.

"When did you have to sleep on the couch? And there are no rules, Sawyer," Tim smirked, heading to his truck.

"Why does she have to be so complicated?" Tim thought as he started the engine.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey, Ladies. I had much fun write this one, hope you'll like it, too. I'm just so thankful for the lots of reviews and new faves/alerts. I'm so glad you like Alex. You make me happy :D**

**betareader: Fleur LB**

**Anamia 1: Haha, you're always against poor Tim :LOL: I love your reviews so much, always make my day :)**

**piper14798: Glad you like it. And thanx for always write for me :)**

**Nichole33: Thank You, I'm so glad you like this one, too :D**

**eXsTorDiNaRiLy InViSiBlE: Sleeping in a car is absoulutely not fun, it hurts your back and legs and every bone in your body :LOL:**

**there's-no-me-without-you: I'm glad you like them together.**

**venetian shadow: Thank You for the reviews :D I'm so happy you love it.**

**CHAPTER 5  
OMG! I'M JEALOUS**

"I was thinking last night," Alex said, sitting at the counter, eating her breakfast.

"That's where problems start," Tim smirked, sitting next to her.

"Let's pretend I didn't hear that," Alex looked at him narrowly.

"Night is for sleeping, Sawyer," Tim said.

"Yeah, well I would sleep if somebody didn't snore next to me as loud as a jackhammer," Alex said, giving Tim a nasty look.

"By the way, don't be surprised if you find bruises on your side. I hit you a few times, hoping you'd stop. But you didn't, of course," Alex rolled her eyes.

"You can alway come to me, baby girl. I couldn't look in the mirror if you didn't have a nice night," Billy winked at her.

"That's very sweet of you, Billy. I'll keep that in mind," Alex smiled at him, sweetly.

"Anyway, here's the thing. We need a rule," she started.

"If it's that you don't wear clothes here, I'm in," Billy grinned.

"Dream about it, old man," Alex laughed.

"Been there, done that," Billy answered, waving at her.

"I don't even wanna know," Alex grimaced.

"Your loss," Billy shook his head.

"I'm sure it is. But back to the rule. We should avoid Garrity," she stated, simply. "Cause you know how I am. Only mentioning her name pushes me off the edge. Then comes the screaming and yelling and I start throwing things at you, who wants that, right?"

"Actually, I liked when you threw your shirt at Timmy's face," Billy laughed.

"Geesh, don't look at me like that," Alex groaned when she saw Tim's face. "You can chase after her and you can kiss her footprints if you want to. I don't give a damn. You're stupid but that's your own social problem. Just don't talk about it, 'kay?" Alex rolled her eyes.

"Fine with me," Tim shrugged.

"Hey, I can do that, too. If I never even think about you know who, will you marry me?" Billy grinned.

"Ask me again when I'll be 30 and still single," Alex smiled.

"I won't forget about it," Billy answered.

"I count on it," Alex nodded.

"What are ya laughing at?" Tim asked when Alex started to giggle without any reason.

"He called her 'you know who'. She's like Voldemort," Alex bursted out laughing.

"What?" she looked at Tim and Billy surprised when she saw their dumb face. "Don't tell me, you didn't see the Harry Potter movies."

Alex knew they hadn't read the books, but they did watch movies.

"We don't watch shit like that, Lexy," Tim shrugged.

"Okay, really, guys. Don't tell me you still only watch The Dukes of Hazzard reruns," she looked between them in disbelief.

"Alright, it has to be changed. We start tonight. I have tons of DVDs."

"Just no romantic shit," Tim looked at her, scared of the thought he would had to watch something pink.

"Tim Riggins, is that what you think about me? Shame on you. You hurt me very bad," Alex turned away, resentfully. "If you say things like that, I will shut you out and watch the film with Billy."

"I don't how I would survive that," Tim smirked.

"We'll watch a sports movie, so you can get used to watching a film," Alex glared at him. "Any Given Sunday will be perfect. You two will like it."

Living with Tim and Billy was pretty fun. Alex enjoyed every minute of it. She made them watch movies every night. They'd eat junk food and drink beer instead of water. Alex went to the practices with Tim everyday, she liked being back on the field again.

She also hang out with Tyra, Julie and Landry a lot. Julie was very nice and Landry was one of a kind. He kept saying Tyra and he were together. It was always funny watching them.

"Hey, Landry and everybody," Alex smiled when she arrived at Landry's garage to watch the band.

"Oh, hi, Alex. We're going to play a song and I want you to be honest. We wanna know what you think, even if it's bad," Landry looked at her seriously.

"No worries. Honesty is my middle name," Alex said.

Alex eyes widened as they started to play. She couldn't understand a single word. Landry shouted so loud into the microphone Alex thought her eardrums would break.

"So?" Landry waited for her to say something.

"It's loud," Alex answered, dumbly, her ears still ringing from Landry's shouting.

"You didn't like it," Landry sighed.

"Well, honestly, you should stop shouting to the microphone. Except if you want kill people that way, cause that would be a nice idea. The perfect murder," Alex laughed. "Sorry. I didn't mean to be rude. Could you sing it again? And I mean sing, not shout."

"Sure," Landry grinned at her.

The second version of the song was much better. Landry had a good enough voice. He wasn't Sting, but it didn't hurt to listen to him.

"I liked it," Alex clapped when the music stopped. "See, it's great if you sing."

"Thanks," Landry smiled at her.

"I have some lyrics you could check out if you want," Alex said.

"Really? You wouldn't mind if we used them?" Landry looked at her, surprised.

"Sure, I wouldn't use 'em anyway," Alex shrugged. What was the point of what she wrote if nobody heard it, right?

"Thanks," Landry smiled at her.

Friday arrived quickly. Alex stood between Tyra and Billy, watching the game. She screamed and jumped and shouted. Tyra and Billy laughed at her but she didn't mind. There wasn't anything like cheering for the Panthers.

The game end with a 17-10 Panthers win. Alex screamed happily, her eyes looking for Tim immediately. She saw him taking off his helmet and look toward the benches. Alex almost started to wave to him when she saw she wasn't the one Tim was looking for.

Alex followed his gaze and saw Lyla smiling at Tim. Alex snorted. She felt her heart tightening as she watched them. Tim should have shared his happiness with her. She was the one who was there with him at every goddamn practice.

"OMG!" Alex bursted out, shocked as the realization hit her.

"What?" Tyra looked at her.

Did she say OMG out loud? Who does that? Oh, yes, pathetic girls who are jealous of their best friend.

"Why did you say OMG?" Tyra asked again when she didn't answer.

"I don't know. It felt good," Alex shrugged.

"Are you okay?" Tyra watched her with concern.

"No. I mean yes, sure," Alex mumbled.

She was jealous of Tim. Tim Riggins. That just so wasn't right. They were friends. She couldn't be jealous of him. God, she had an amazing talent for messing everything up.

No, she wasn't jealous, Alex decided. It was only that she hated that Lyla had gotten Tim and that was it, nothing about jealousy.


	7. Chapter 7

**Here it goes Ladies. Thanks for the new faves/alerts. Please, please !!!REVIEW!!! I really count on your opinions.**

**Little spoiler (just in case, to keep your attention): You can count on a huge fall out between Tim and Alex in the next chapter, so keep reading :)**

**betareader: Fleur LB**

**CHAPTER 6  
****PEACE**

"What's wrong?" Jason asked Tim, who sat there without a word.

"Nothing… It's just… Lexy," Tim shrugged.

"What's with her? Did she try to rape you?" Jason laughed.

"No," Tim smirked.

I wouldn't have a problem with that, he thought to himself. Which was also a problem. He shouldn't feel this way about Lexy. He shouldn't look at her like that. But he couldn't help it. Living with Alex was becoming very uncomfortable, not because Tim didn't like she was there, it was the opposite: he liked it way too much.

"Then what?" Jason asked.

"I dunno… I'm worried about her," Tim sighed.

"Worried?" Jason looked at him, surprised. "Why are you worried?"

"Because. I don't like what she does with herself."

Jason raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"She drinks way too much. I barely believe she's got one sober minute in a day. You should have seen her Friday. I swear I've never seen anybody drinking whiskey like that and she made passes at every moving man around her," Tim explained, remembering how he had to tell those asses that Lexy was off-limits.

"It's not funny, Six," Tim groaned, seeing Jason was smiling.

"I know, I know. It isn't. It's just like you're talking about yourself," Jason answered.

"That's different," Tim rolled his eyes.

"Different?" Jason snorted. "How?"

"I dunno, man. We're talking about Lexy. And she acts weird," Tim said finally the part that bothered him the most.

"Weirder than usual?" Jason laughed.

"I'm trying to be serious, Six," Tim groaned again, seeing Jason didn't get he was really worried.

"Okay, okay. What do you mean she acts weird? I talked to her and she seemed fine to me."

"She's weird with me… She looks at me in a strange way, IF she even looks at me. I think she's still mad because of Lyla," Tim said, thinking about how Lexy avoided him or the day before when he touched her and she jumped like electricity shocked her.

"I thought she said she was okay with it," Jason said.

"Like this would be the first time she lied," Tim smirked.

"You've got a point. Alex isn't known about her caring and sharing personality."

"And she flirts with Billy. Billy," Tim repeated in disbelief. "Isn't that weird enough for you?"

"Now you sounds jealous," Jason laughed.

"Don't be ridiculous," Tim glared at Jason. "Jealous of who? Lexy?" Tim asked but it sounded more like he was trying to convince himself than Jason.

"So, you aren't jealous…" Jason stopped laughing looking seriously at Tim.

First Jason was just kidding but now he wasn't so sure about Tim's feelings for Alex.

"Street, try to be serious. Why would I be jealous of Lexy?"

"Maybe because she isn't little Alex Sawyer anymore. She's sexy and beautiful, smart and funny and probably the only female in the world who can stand you for more than a night," Jason pointed out.

Was it possible Jason was right? Was he jealous? Probably no. He was worried about his best friend and that was it, just worried.

"Why don't you talk to her?" Jason asked when Tim didn't said anything.

"Sure, Tim Riggins don't talk," Jason sighed, seeing Tim smirk. "Fine, I'll see what I can do about it."

"Hey, J babe," Alex entered Jason's room with a smile on her face.

"Hi, Alex," Jason smiled back.

"How are things going?" Jason asked while he struggled to change his bedclothes.

"Fine," Alex shrugged.

"And how is living with the Riggins'?"

"Blurt it out, Street. What do you want?" Alex rolled her eyes, knowing Jason wanted to know something.

"Tim's worried about you," Jason answered.

"Tim is what?" Alex raised an eyebrow.

"He's worried about you," Jason sighed, still struggling with the sheets.

"I'll do it," Alex said, taking the sheets out from Jason's hand.

"He thinks you still mad because of Lyla," Jason said, watching Alex movements becoming angrier with his words.

"I'm working my ass off here so I can rent a place. So sorry if next to school, the Applebees and the bar I haven't got time to care about Tim's aching soul," Alex raised her voice angrily.

Alex figured it wouldn't be enough to work at Applebees if she wanted to get her own place anytime soon so she went back to the bar she went to with Jason and Tim and got a night job. Most of the days she was so tired she slept in classes if she even bothered to go to school.

"You don't have to bite my throat. We're just worried," Jason said.

"No worries," Alex rolled her eyes.

"What bar?"

"The bar we went to," Alex answered.

"But you aren't even 21."

"You're sweet. Have you ever heard about fake ID's?" Alex laughed.

"Why is it so urgent to get your own place? I thought you like living with them," Jason asked, studying Alex face.

"I do," Alex shrugged, not very convincing.

"Then?"

"Then what?" Alex groaned frustrated.

"Why is it so urgent?" Jason rolled his eyes.

"I can't sleep," Alex answered, dumbly after a few seconds of thinking.

"You can't sleep?" Jason raised an eyebrow questiononingly.

"Tim snores," Alex shrugged, forget to mention she had these more-than-friendly feelings for Tim that scared her to death and it was so damn hard sleeping so close to him when even that he touched her made her felt like electricity shocked her. "This left me with the couch or Billy. I'm wondering which one is the worse," Alex smirked.

"That's it?" Jason asked with doubt in his voice.

"That's it," Alex rolled her eyes.

"Can you just try not to shut him out? He needs you," Jason said.

"Well, I could also use a friend but someone is way too preoccupied panting after a girl," Alex raised her voice again as she made her way to the door.

"You need each other. Just think about it, Alex," Jason shouted after her.

Alex thought about what Jason said while she was at the Applebees. He was right, she needed Tim and he needed her. She had to stop avoiding Tim because this was getting ridiculous. Alex knew she acted childish. Tim was her best friend even if he fell for Lyla.

"Guys, dinner arrived," Alex shouted as she entered the house.

"What did you bring for us?" Billy asked from the couch.

"You won't believe it, burger and fries," Alex rolled her eyes.

"What a surprise," Billy said.

"Hey there," Alex moved her gaze to Tim who sat at the counter.

"Are you talking to me?" Tim looked at her.

"No, I'm talking to my invisible friend next to you. Yes, I'm talking to you," Alex smirked.

"Now that's a surprise," Billy said.

"I'm not going to apologies because I never do that," Alex started, rocking on her heels. "But, I know I was a bitch the last few days, so… Peace?" she asked looking at Tim, opening her arms for a hug.

"Peace," Tim answered smiling, hugging her.

"Kids, really, stop it. You're breaking my heart," Billy laughed as he watched them.

"Now that I finished being a bitch we can talk about the concert I'm trying to set up for Landry," Alex said.

Billy and Tim looked at each other and the words about how they couldn't go started to rush out from their mouths at the same time.

"Guys, stop it. It isn't optional. It's very important for Landry and it's also important for me. I want you to be there. Both of you," she moved her gaze between them. "Oh, and it's also important for you if you still want to get your free food from Applebees," she added with a wicked grin on her face.

"Fine," Tim and Billy sighed.

"I knew I could count on you," Alex laughed.


	8. Chapter 8

**I am soooooo sorry for the hiatus. Believe me, I hated every minute of it. I hadn't got internet for a whole month :S But I'm back now :) I really hope you will like this chapter. I got a lot of chapter I'd already written so update depends on reviews.**

**Thank You so much for the new faves/alerts and the reviews, of course. They mean a lot.**

**Beta reader: Fleur LB**

**song: I gotta hole in my head by Rihanna**

**CHAPTER 7  
ANTHOLOGY OF AN AWESOME DAY**

Alex groaned when her phone rang. Tim wasn't next to her, which meant it was already morning. Whoever it was chose the worst time to chat with Alex. She was barely getting two hours of sleep a night because of her nightshift at the bar.

"What?" she groaned to the phone.

"Morning, sunshine," the familiar tinkling voice screamed happily on the other end of the phone.

Alex needed a few second to recognize the voice and realize it didn't mean anything good.

"Kathy, is that you?" Alex asked, nervously.

"No, I'm your fairy godmother. Of course it's me," Kathy answered. Alex could imagine her rolling her eyes.

"How the hell did you get my number?" Alex asked, wondering if anybody else (Ryan) knew it, too.

"I tell you it wasn't easy. I had to shoot Patrick in the knee," Kathy laughed.

"Kathy, seriously," Alex groaned, frustrated that somebody found her.

"Okay, okay. Geez, I tell you that southern air doesn't do any good for you. I went on a date with Patrick for the information. I told you it was hard. I hope you appreciate it."

"What do you mean that southern air? Do you know where I am?" Alex asked even more nervously.

"Of course I do. My date with Patrick was to sneak in the school and find your papers. So then, I was right and you went back to Dillon or wherever."

Alex saw Tim standing in the door, looking at her curiously. She stood up from the bed and closed the door. She didn't want Tim to hear this. She didn't want anybody to know what she left behind.

"Does anybody else know?" Alex asked.

"Do you mean Ryan?" Kathy asked back.

"Yes, Kathy, I mean Ryan," Alex groaned again. Sometimes Kathy could get on her nerves.

"No, he doesn't. No one else, just Patrick and me," Kathy added. "By the way, talking about Ryan. That's why I called. He went totally crazy after you left."

"What do you mean he went crazy?" Alex paced up and down in the room, biting her nails.

"I mean, he's nuts. Not like that's any news. But he's looking for you and I swear he's lost his mind," Kathy explained.

"But he doesn't know where I am?" Alex asked again.

"No, nobody does. I burnt your papers just in case. But I tell you, he scares me."

Alex swallowed hard before she answered.

"Whatever. The point is he doesn't know. No worries," Alex said more to convince herself than her friend. "I will change my number," she added.

"Fine," Kathy sighed.

"I'll call you," Alex, added when she heard her friend's hurt voice.

"Okay. I miss you. Take care," Kathy said.

"You take care," Alex said before she ended the call.

Ryan was looking for her. That was anything but good. There were some details Alex forgot to mention to Tyra when she talked about Ryan, like he was kind of obsessed with her. Ryan thought he owned Alex. He wanted to tell her to whom she could talk, what she could do, what she could wear. He wanted to control her whole life.

Alex wasn't sure Ryan wouldn't hurt her if he found her. Sometimes he scared her, too. No worries, she repeated to herself. He doesn't know where you are, Alex thought.

* * *

Alex made her way in the crowded hall of the school. Everybody stared at her, whispered and they said weird things like "We can go anywhere you want." or "I would run away with you."

"Julie, Julie," Alex yelled when she saw Julie across the hall. "Hey, can you tell me what the hell is wrong with everybody?"

"Ahm, did you just arrive?" Julie asked, shifting uncomfortable.

"Yeah, why? What happened?" Alex asked, curiously, while people still stared at her.

"I think, I'd better show you. Come on," Julie said, starting toward a classroom.

"So, what?" Alex asked when she sat down next to Julie at the video room.

Julie let out a huge sigh and put a tape into the video player. Lyla appeared on the screen in the school news. Next to her was a picture of an article "The girl who (s)hook up New York's underground world" where Alex sang on the stage at a club and after a few moments a video was played where Alex sang one of her songs, "Hook me up," with Kathy.

"Garrity," Alex groaned.

"That isn't everything," Julie sighed and gave a school paper and flyer to her.

There was an article about her in the school paper and the flyer said "Go to the Macheta Bar if you wanna meet with the big city girl."

Alex jumped up and rushed out from the classroom. She practically ran, moving her eyes, looking for Lyla.

"Garrity," she shouted when she saw Lyla at her locker.

"Hi, Alex," Lyla smiled at her.

"What the hell do you think you are doing?" Alex yelled at Lyla, pushing her against the locker.

"What are you talking about?" Lyla stared, scared of Alex.

"What am I talking about? I'm talking about your little news block and flyers about me," Alex yelled at Lyla.

"I just wanted to help you with the concert," Lyla said, innocently.

"Now you listen to me. I don't need your help, my friends don't need your help. Stay out of my business. If you don't want your pretty face to be bruised, don't screw with me, Garrity," Alex pointed at Lyla angrily and rushed away.

"Hi, girlie," Tyra greeted Alex. "You look like somebody who is ready to explode any minute."

"I talked to Lyla. I swear one day, I'm going to brush that smile off her face," Alex groaned.

"Tell me the time, I wanna be there for that," Tyra laughed.

"I thought you don't sing in public," Landry said and Alex could see he was hurt. Probably he thought she just wanted to shake him off when he asked her to sing in the band.

If Landry didn't believe her, the day when she'd kill Lyla Garrity would be sooner rather than later.

"And I don't," Alex said, frustrated.

"Didn't seem so in the video," Landry looked at her doubtfully.

"Leave her alone, Landry," Tyra punched Landry on the shoulder.

"I just wanna know the truth. If you didn't want to be in the band, you could have just said," Landry said. Alex felt her blood pumping in her ears, again.

Garrity was one lucky bitch she wasn't there at that moment, Alex thought.

"I swear on everything and anything, I don't sing in public. Unless I'm way too drunk to remember my name," she hated explaining herself and she hated that Landry thought she was a liar.

"Oh, well, nice performance by the way," Landry grinned after studying Alex for a few moments and finally decide she wasn't guilty.

"Thanks," Alex rolled her eyes.

"Oh, Alex, you're here," Mrs. Taylor stopped next to them.

"Seems like," Alex smirked.

Julie told her a couple of days ago that her mom wanted to talk to her and Alex tried hard to avoid it. However, this time it was too late to escape.

"Hi Tyra, Landry," Mrs. Taylor smiled at them before she turned back to Alex. "Can I talk to you for a sec?"

"I'll see you at Applebee's," Tyra said as she pulled Landry away.

So much for best friends, Alex groaned mentally.

"Sure," Alex nodded and followed Mrs. Taylor to her office.

"How are you doing?" Mrs. Taylor asked as she sat behind her desk.

"Fine, I guess," Alex shrugged.

"You're missing a lot of class, Alex. Why is that?"

"I'm working," Alex rolled her eyes.

"That's very good but you can't ditch school because of it," Mrs. Taylor sighed. "I've got a great idea. You could come for dinner tomorrow so we can talk about your situation?"

"What?" Alex looked shocked at Mrs. Taylor.

Dinner at the Taylors'? She didn't have a situation, Alex thought. There wasn't anything to talk about.

"That's very nice of you, Mrs. Taylor but the thing is I already have plans."

"What kind of plans?"

"I promised Billy we would watch a movie," Alex blurted out.

Great, Sawyer, keep it up, Alex groaned mentally. Being deadly tired caused Alex some major problem, like she couldn't think about great lies.

"I'm sure Billy will understand if you delay your movie night," Mrs. Taylor smiled at her, warmly.

"Yeah, but the thing is… You know he has to catch up with the world around him and I just…" Alex rambled.

"That's very sweet of you that you care about Billy's cultural experiences so much but one more day here or there won't change the world."

"Yes, I know but…"

"Did you say yes? That's great. See you tomorrow, honey. It's time to eat something other than junk food," Mrs. Taylor clapped her hands happily.

"Thank you, Mrs. Taylor," Alex sighed, leaving the office.

Alex left the school and light a cigarette. Such an awesome day so far, she thought.

* * *

"Hey, little bro," Billy greeted Tim when Tim arrived from practice. "You'd better hurry up. We can't be late for the concert. Alex is already very pissed. You should have seen her, she was like a hurricane."

"I know. She fought with Lyla again," Tim smirked, going to the bathroom.

"I think we'd better go. Who knows what she would do if we were late."

"I'll have a shower and go after you," Tim said.

"Alright. But if you value your life, don't be late," Billy said as he left.

Tim was ready to go when the phone rang.

"Hallo?"

"Tim, it's me, Lyla," Tim's eyes widened as he heard Lyla's voice.

"Are you there?" she asked when Tim didn't say anything.

"Yes," Tim answered, wondering what Lyla would want.

"My car broke down and I didn't know who else to call," Lyla explained.

"Where are you?" Tim sighed.

Tim went to get Lyla and take a look at her car, but he couldn't figure out what the problem was. Probably something major with the engine. Now they were on their way to the concert together. Though they had missed most of it.

"I'm sorry you missed the concert because of me," Lyla glanced at Tim.

"No worries," Tim shrugged.

The truth was Tim was worried. He knew Alex would be frantic that he wasn't there. He couldn't even imagine what was waiting for him other than another huge fight. But he couldn't leave Lyla next to the road in the middle of nowhere, right?

Alex did a great job, Tim thought as he made his way with Lyla on his side among the crowded bar. Also, she did a helluva great job with Landry and the band. The song they played was great, it didn't hurt to listen at all.

Then he saw Alex. She wore her tall boots with a very mini jeans skirt and a red tank top with the band's name on it. Her black hair was curly, making her look even more like a doll.

She stood there, cigarette in her hand, and she looked breathtaking. Alex moved her gaze, meeting with Tim's eyes. And boy, she was pissed. If looks could kill, Tim would be a dead man.

"Lexy, I'm sorry…" Tim started but Alex interrupted him.

"Save your apologies for someone who cares," Alex said, not looking at him.

She didn't yell, she didn't punch him, she just stood there, watching the band. It was bad, very bad, Tim thought.

"Lexy, I swear…"

"I don't care. Though you should apologies for Landry. He was looking for you," Alex said in an emotionless tone what hurt more than the loudest yelling.

Nothing like this ever happened before. There was always yelling or throwing stuff, something what Tim knew how to handle. But this time it was different and he knew he hurt Alex more than ever.

"Alex, listen, it's my fault that…" Lyla started to explain.

"Nobody talked to you, Garrity," Alex looked at Lyla with hatred. "And now if you excuse me, I've got things to do. My friends count on me," Alex said, leaving Tim and Lyla standing there.

"Hey, everybody," Alex yelled to the microphone. "Did you enjoy your time?"

The crowed answered with happy screams and clapping.

"Alright then. There's one more song for tonight, which actually is my personal favourite. Let's give it up for 'Be somebody'," Alex screamed and left the stage.

Alex waited for the end of the song and went to her car right after the band finished. She shut the door hard and started the engine.

_I got a hole in my head_

_A hole in my head_

Alex started to sing. Too much for one day, she thought. She felt she was going crazy.

_Sometimes I get crazy and_

_I ain't scared of nobody_

She decided it was stupid to be afraid of Ryan finding her. She would beat him up right after she finished with Tim Riggins, she thought,

_Don't look at me funny_

_Like you ain't hear what I said_

And Tim had the courage to go there with Garrity. It would be better if he didn't even show up.

_I gotta hole in my head_

She sang, drumming on the wheel. How dare he ruin her day even more? Finally something good happened and he screwed it up. And he tried to explain it with Garrity by his side. He should be happy she didn't kill him the minute they showed up. Alex rolled down the window and sang as loud as she could, trying to sing away her anger.

Tim tried to talk to Alex in the bar but it was impossible. She absoulutely ignored him. He hoped they could talk when they arrive home but he was wrong.

Alex arrived at home a few minutes before Tim and Billy. When Tim went to his bedroom, she was on her way out with his bedclothes in her hand.

"Lexy, please. Don't do this. Yell at me, say I'm a jerk or throw something at me. I don't know… Just do something," Tim pleaded her, knowing it wouldn't do any good, but he had to try.

"I tell you this, I wouldn't let myself sleep too deep. Maybe I will wake up in the middle of the night and decide to stab you in the back," Alex glared at Tim, shutting the door.

"What the hell should have I done? Leave her standing next to a deserted road?" Tim yelled to the door.

"I got a hole in my head…" Alex started to sang her newest song as loud as she could.

"Sawyer, don't start singing," Tim pounded on the door.

He hated when Alex did this with him. Singing always meant 'I don't care what you say'.

_I don't think you wanna do that right now_

_And not with me, don't start with me I got a gun on me_

_I don't think you really wanna run your mouth_

_I gotta feeling, I'll burn it down, I'll burn you down_

Now at least he knew what she though. She wanted to kill him. First with a knife and then came the gun. Nice, he groaned mentally.

_I got a hole in my head_

_A hole in my head_

_Sometimes I get crazy and_

_I ain't scared of nobody_

_Don't look at me funny_

_Like you ain't hear what I said_

_I gotta hole in my head_

_Ay ay ay I gotta hole in my head_

_Ay ay ay I gotta hole in my head_

_Don't look at me funny_

_Like you ain't hear what I said_

_Ay ay ay I gotta hole in my head_

The walls were thin, so the whole house was filled with Alex's voice.

"Nice job, little bro," Billy said, patting Tim on the shoulder.

"Shut up, Billy," Tim groaned, pushing Billy's hand away.

"Hey, just so you know, I was there, it wasn't me who let her down so don't even try to put it on me. You knew how important it was for her and you dumped her because of Garrity. Maybe you should think it over, decide who is more important," Billy said as he went to his bedroom.

Tim hated when Billy was right and he was right now. It was all so complicated with Alex, Tim thought. Tim knew there was a part of Alex that nobody could see, not even him. He didn't know why, but he felt Alex put a distance between them. He knew Alex enough to know that she hid something. Every time he felt like he could get closer, she pushed him away or he did something stupid like now. He screwed up big time and had no clue how to make things right.


	9. Chapter 9

**Here's another chapter. I'm kinda sad I haven't got more feedback for the last chapter. So I decided I will update again if I get more reviews. A few word, just sg guys, really, please.**

**Anamia 1: I can't be thankful enough for you always reviewing my stories. It means a lot :)**

**Birdcrap: I'm glad you like it. Thanks for the review :)**

**betareader: Fleur LB**

**CHAPTER 8  
SCARED**

Alex stood in front of the Taylors' house. This dinner was the last thing she needed. She hadn't been able sleep for two days. First because she worked in the bar, and then when because of Tim and how upset she was with him.

"Hi, Alex," Julie opened the door, smiling at Alex.

"Hi, Julie," Alex tried her best to smile back, following Julie to the house.

"Good evening, Mrs. Taylor," Alex greeted Mrs. Taylor who was at the kitchen.

"Hello, honey. I'm so happy you could make it," Mrs. Taylor smiled at Alex warmly.

Like I had another option, Alex groaned mentally, but didn't say anything.

"Hi, Coach," she nodded to Eric who sat in front of the tv, watching a game.

"Hi, I'm glad to see you here. You could help me with this," Eric said, still watching the tv.

"Eric! Leave that poor girl alone," Mrs. Taylor looked narrowly at her husbrand.

"It's okay. I would be happy to help," Alex said.

Finally, something good could come out of the dinner, Alex thought as she sat next to the Coach.

"Oh, sure, you like football. That's my reaction because of Jules, she isn't really into it," Mrs. Taylor explained. "Your dad was the Panthers coach, right?"

Alex felt her stomach clench, her body stiffened, the blood drain from her face. She couldn't reply, so she only nodded. Alex didn't like talking about her dad. Talking about him was one thing she never did.

"I'm sorry if I…"

"It's okay, Mrs. Taylor," Alex swallowed hard.

It wasn't Mrs. Taylor's fault that she didn't know her rule number one: Don't talk about dad.

After the football game, they spent the evening in an uncomfortable silence. Alex only rummaged in her food.

"So I heard you live with the Riggins boys," Coach said.

Alex nodded. She wasn't in a very talkative mood, her mind was full with everything else that was going on.

"I wonder how that happened," Mrs. Taylor looked at Alex, curiously.

"They're like family," Alex shrugged.

"I see," Tami nodded. "Congratulations for the concert. Julie said you did a great job," Tami said after a few moments.

"It was Landry and the band. They were awesome," Alex said.

She wasn't used to getting praised and didn't really know how to react.

"But you wrote lots of songs for them," Julie smiled.

"Oh, you write songs?" Mrs. Taylor asked Alex.

"Yeah, it really isn't such a big thing," Alex answered, shrugging.

"Sure, I remember. You also sing, right?" Mrs. Taylor pushed further.

"Not really," Alex shifted uncomfortable.

"But I saw a video where you…"

"That was a one-time mistake," Alex interrupted Tami.

Alex and Tami talked about school. Mrs. Taylor explained that she knew it could be hard to work and go to school and be alone at her age, but Alex had to understand she couldn't let her ditch school. Alex promised she would try to be there everyday because otherwise, Mrs. Taylor would have to suspend her.

Alex was on her way home. She was eager to get to her bed. She thought about how great it would be to finally get some sleep when, out of the blue, a dog ran in front of her car. She pulled aside the wheel. People say you see your whole life in front of your eyes when you're near to death but Alex only saw a vivid image of her dad's dead body as the car spinned with her out of control. The car crashed into a wooden fence. Alex hit her head hard on the dashboard.

She sat there, frozen. She couldn't move. The fear paralyzed her. But that was only for a moment. Alex shook herself mentally, took a deep breath and tried to start the engine.

"Dammit," she yelled, hitting the wheel when the car refused to start.

Alex crawled out of the car, sitting on the ground, leaning against the car. She felt she couldn't keep herself together. Her head hurt like hell and her whole body was shaking. But the worst part was the terror she felt, the thought she could have died the same way her dad died. Her eyes filled with tears as she reached into her pocket for her mobile.

"Yeah?"

"Billy," Alex started but her voice faltered.

"What's wrong? Are you all right?" Billy asked, concerned.

"Can you come for me?" Alex tried to swallow her tears.

Alex told Billy where she was and waited. After the terror came the numbness. She just sat there, staring in front of herself, waiting for Billy. She didn't even realized when the truck stopped next to her.

"Lexy," Tim jumped out of the truck, running to Alex. "God, what happened? Are you alright?" he asked, kneeling beside her, taking a look at her bloody head. "I have to take you to the hospital."

"I'm fine," Alex answered, wiping away her tears. "I just wanna go home."

"Lexy…"

"Please, Timmy. Just take me home." She moved her gaze to meet Tim's eyes, tears rolled down her cheeks again.

Tim nodded, silently.

"Can you walk?" Tim asked.

Alex nodded, reaching for Tim's hand to help her stand up.

On the way home, neither of them talked. When they arrived Alex went straight to bed and Tim told Billy what happened. Billy said he would go back for the car so Tim could stay with Alex.

"Are you sleeping?" Tim asked, stepping to his room.

No answer came from Alex although Tim could see she wasn't sleeping. He laid close to her but she moved away. They laid silently there. Neither of them could sleep. Tim was the first who broke the silence.

"Why did you call Billy and not me?" Tim asked, staring at the ceiling.

It shouldn't have bothered him. The point was nothing serious happened but still, he should be the one Alex called when she was in trouble.

"I didn't want to bother you," Alex shrugged.

"What?" Tim looked at her in disbelief.

How could she even think something like that? He would leave the Super Bowl if she was in trouble.

"I dunno. I thought maybe you could be with Garrity," Alex said, turning her back to Tim.

Tim didn't answer to that. He let out a huge sigh and reached for Alex, turning her toward him.

"You're stupid," Tim sighed, leaning his forehead against Lexy's.

Alex didn't answer, she felt her eyes burning, tears started to roll again. Tim didn't know what to say. He never knew how to handle a crying woman so he pulled Alex closer, starting to kiss away her tears. Alex shivered as his lips touched her cheek.

"Don't do that again. You scared the crap out of me," Tim said, pulling away Alex hair from her face.

Alex nodded silently. Tim could feel her body stiffen as he pulled her close to him. He thought about letting her go, but she looked so tired and scared, so fragile, he wanted to confort her so much. She was like that little girl Tim found crying alone on the playground many years ago.

Tim sighed as he felt Alex body finally relax, her arms reaching around his waist, her face buried to his chest. Something moved in his stomach, a strange feeling he couldn't identify as he watched Alex breathing peacefully. He couldn't even think about what he would do if something happened to her. He would never forgive himself, Tim thought.


	10. Chapter 10

**Hello, Ladies. I'm so happy I've got more reviews for the last chapter :D Thank You so much :D This chapter is shorter than the usual but the next chapter will be ... I won't tell what it will be :evil laugh:**

**betareader: Fleur LB**

**song: Silent war by A Fine Frenzy**

**CHAPTER 9  
****SILENT WAR**

Alex slowly started to wake up, her mind cloudy. Last night's images appeared in front of her eyes again, her breathing quickened and she opened her eyes with a start, panting. She tried to sit up to get more air, but she felt something heavy on her waist and on her legs.

She moved her gaze, only to find Tim's huge arms around her, his leg tangled with hers. She glanced at him to see if she'd woken him up, but Tim was sleeping like a baby.

She let her mind wander. It was such a long time ago she let him so close to her. One of the reasons she couldn't sleep was Tim. She couldn't bear his touch on her, it was too much to handle so she kept waking up every time he touched her, which wasn't letting her get much sleep.

She thought about last night and that she wasn't the one who was scared. Tim was scared, too. She thought about the concern in his eyes, the way he pulled her close to his body and the hurt in his voice when he asked why she called Billy and not him. Did she hear jealousy in his voice? Was she not the only one who was confused about her feelings?

She should push him away, Alex thought. And just like Tim could read her mind, he pulled her closer, and she forgot to breathe.

_Something is changing me_

_Real slow from the inside out._

Alex started to sing quietly, watching Tim breathing peacefully next to her.

_It seems you mean too much to me,_

_Too much for comfort, see._

_The cause is the cure, now._

She started to caress his face without realizing what she was doing.

_Someone once (I forget who it was)_

_Said, "Do not think so much,_

_You can't hear what your heart says."_

Alex shivered as she felt Tim's breath on her neck, her heart beating sped up.

_But it speaks, it tugs and puddle-leaps,_

_And bangs my ribs to pieces._

_Thoughts are the safe bet._

_We fought a silent war_

_In the hardware store and the air was thick as paint_

_Though I carried it on, I knew that I was wrong_

_But I fight when I'm afraid_

_My guns will come a-blazing,_

_A lesser man would be afraid_

Alex thought about how she kept looking for reasons to push Tim away, that she yelled at him all the time with or without reason and neglected him, finding stupid reasons to avoid him. I'm such a great friend, she thought.

_A lesser man would break free._

_"I'm sorry" 's all I meant to say._

"Hey," Tim opened his eyes.

"Hey," Alex blushed, realizing her hand was still on Tim's face. "I'm going to have a shower," she mumbled, trying to get out of the bed but Tim refused to let her go.

"Can you not move just for a moment?" Tim groaned, tightening his hold around her. "I swear you're like a mite, woman."

Alex stayed still, her breathing coming out loud. He drove her crazy and he didn't even know, Alex groaned mentally.

"How is your head?" Tim asked, his face in the pillow.

"Fine," Alex shrugged.

Actually it still hurt but she was eager to get out of the damn bed, away from Tim as far as possible. Her instincts scream two different things: 1. run, run, run 2. just kiss him and get over with it finally.

"Let me look at it," Tim command, leaning on his elbow, pulling her hair away from the wound on her forehead.

Tim leaned closer, one of his hand on Alex's cheek and he gave a light kiss to her forehead where she hit it.

"You will live," Tim moved his gaze to meet with Alex's eyes.

"Thanks, doc," she muttered, pulling away from Tim, practically running toward the bathroom.

She looked in the mirror, her face was anything but perfect in that moment: her make up was ruined by last night's tears, her hair was a mess, there was a wound on her forehead and mostly she looked scared. What is wrong with you? Alex screamed, mentally.


	11. Chapter 11

**Hi, Ladies! I'm glad to see my most faithful readers managed to catch up with the story :) Thank You for the reviews and the nice words, I actually blushed :LOL: Next chapter will be up when I got some reviews good or bad, I don't mind :P**

**betareader: Fleur LB**

**CHAPTER 10  
THERE WILL BE BLOOD…**

"I've got a surprise for you," Tim said to Alex on their way home.

"I hate surprises," Alex answered.

Since her car refused to start again, she was stuck with Billy and Tim, which was anything but comfortable.

"You'll like this one." Tim winked.

"Did you actually wink?" Alex snorted, causing Tim to roll his eyes. "Dude, that's embarrassing."

"Shut up, Sawyer," Tim groaned. "Here we are," Tim said, stopping the truck in front of the house.

"Wow, you brought me home? Now that's really the biggest surprise in my life," Alex smirked.

"I repaired your car, smartass," Tim motioned to Alex's car.

"Really?" Alex raised an eyebrow, doubtful.

"Yes, Sawyer, really." Tim rolled his eyes.

"Oh, my God," Alex started to jump around. "And I thought my baby died," she said, hopping into the car.

"Oh, Maggie, I'm so glad you survived it." Alex hugged the wheel.

"Maggie?" Tim looked at her as she was crazy.

"Maggie as Margaret, Margaret Mitchell," Alex grinned at him.

"Margaret who?" Tim asked, dumbly.

"Margaret Mitchell, Gone with the Wind," Alex started to explain. "Never mind," she waved at him.

"Thank you," Alex mumbled awkwardly after a few minutes, not looking at Tim.

"No worries," Tim shrugged, trying to figure out why Alex kept distance between them.

----------

"Hey, old man," Alex greeted Billy when she arrived home a few days later. "Where is preacher boy?"

"He's preaching, of course," Billy answered, laughing. "It's Thursday. He's at the radio station."

"What are ya doing?" Billy looked at Alex, watching her throwing her messenger bag next to him on the couch and starting toward the door.

"I'm going to save his soul," Alex winked at Billy, leaving the house.

Alex walked down the hall of the radio station with a CD in her hand. She grinned insanely as she imagined Lyla's face if her plan worked.

"Lexy, what are you doing here?" Tim looked at her, surprised, as she entered the room.

Alex didn't answer, just put the CD in the player and pushed Tim further to get at the microphone.

"Hello lost sheeps of our dearest God, this is Alex Sawyer. I'm sorry to break it to you, but Mr. Riggins has some more exciting things to do than listening to your dumb questions all night. Have a helluva night and don't do anything I wouldn't," she finished, pushing the 'Play' button and then pulling Tim out of the room.

"What are you doing?" Tim asked, laughing as Alex started to drumming in the air.

Alex didn't answer just got in the truck and turned on the radio, Highway to Hell by AC/DC was played and she started to sing along.

_Living easy, living free_

_Season ticket on a one-way ride_

"Tell me it isn't the Christian radio station we're listening to." Tim looked at her with wide eyes as he got in the truck, too.

_Asking nothing, leave me be_

_Taking everything in my stride_

"You're crazy," Tim laughed as Alex started the engine.

_Don't need reason, don't need rhyme_

_Ain't nothing I would rather do_

_Going down, party time_

_My friends are gonna be there too_

_I'm on the highway to hell_

_No stop signs, speed limit_

_Nobody's gonna slow me down_

_Like a wheel, gonna spin it_

_Nobody's gonna mess me round_

_Hey Satan, payed my dues_

"Hey!" Alex complained as the song was stopped suddenly.

"Sorry, there was an error in our system and the wrong song was played," a guy rambled nervously.

"Ha! You'd better pray they won't burn my CD, Timmy boy. That's one of my fave." Alex pointed at Tim.

-------------

Alex was in a very good mood after the night she spent with Tim. It wasn't such a bad idea to kidnap him, she smiled as she made her way in the crowded cafeteria.

"I think that's yours." Lyla stepped in front of Alex with a CD in her hand.

"Ah, that's very nice of you, Garrity you brought it me back," Alex grinned at her, taking away the CD and starting to leave.

"You know, Alex I feel sorry for you," Lyla said.

"What?" Alex turned back with wide eyes.

"Do you really think pulling down Tim with you will do any good for you?" Lyla glared at Alex.

"What the hell are you talking about, Garrity?" Alex narrowed her eyes.

Tim watched them from a table and started to stand up as he saw Alex's hands tightening to fist.

"Look at yourself, Alex. What have you become? Do you think your father would be happy if he saw you?"

Tim ran toward them but he was too late; Alex's fist already met Lyla's nose when he arrived. Lyla fell to the floor, blood running from her nose. Alex stood steady above her, her breathing heavy.

"Try it again, Garrity and those will be the last words in your sorry life," Alex panted, turned on her heels and rushed out of the cafeteria.

"Alex, come to my office," Mrs. Taylor commanded Alex when she found her at the lockers.

Lyla was already sitting there.

"What you did, Alex, was something we don't appreciate at Dillon High. Hitting somebody won't solve your problems." Mrs. Taylor looked narrowly at Alex.

"It was my fault, Mrs. Taylor," Lyla said.

"Shut up, bitch," Alex hissed, tightening her hand in a fist.

"Alex," Mrs. Taylor looked at her hard.

"I should suspend you right now, but Lyla asked me not to."

"Have you ever heard Tim say 'no regrets'?" Alex asked. "He learned that from me. If you want me to say I'm sorry, you'll be disappointed because I am not. I would do it again." Alex glared at Lyla.

"You have a choice, Alex. If you apologize for Lyla and take part in the homecoming concert with a performance, you get one more chance."

Alex gasped.

"You know what Mrs. Taylor, go ahead and suspend me. Honestly, I don't give a shit what you do or don't do." Alex glared at Mrs. Taylor, leaving the office.

----------

"If you came to yell at me, you don't have to," Alex groaned, when she saw Tim entering the room.

She threw her stuff into her bag then side-stepped Tim to go to the living room for her other stuff.

"What are you doing?" Tim asked, irritated, following her, hot on her heels.

"I'm sick and tired of all this shit," Alex raised her voice.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Tim raised his voice as well. "I didn't say a goddamn word!"

"But you wanted to," Alex yelled at him.

"How the hell do you know what I wanted?!" Tim yelled back. "And you think you're the one who is tired of this shit? I'm not the one who keeps blaming you for everything. Your mood swings are drivin' me crazy."

"Well in that case you should be happy, I'm out," Alex shouted back.

Tim felt his anger grew inside him, his hands tightened into fists. He didn't say a word, he didn't even wanted to. Tim grabbed her arms and forced her to face him.

"Let me go, Tim," Alex groaned, narrowing her eyes, struggling to break free.

"Why? Are you going to hit me too?" Tim smirked.

"Don't tempt me, Riggins," Alex narrowed her eyes.

"Is that what you want? To hit me too? Then do it," Tim said, letting go of her. "At least then I would know that you feel something, that you aren't an ice-hearted…"

Alex hand started to move toward Tim's face but he was faster and grabbed her hand in the air before she could slap him. They stared at each other, both of them breathing heavily. Then Tim pushed Alex against the wall, his lips crushed against hers hard. Alex let out a surprised gasp, giving Tim a chance to enter her mouth.

"Bitch," Tim hissed when Alex bit his lip and he felt the blood in his mouth. She smirked against his lips, satisfied.

She struggled to pull off Tim's shirt, eager to feel his skin, her nails digging into his back when she finally succeed.

"Jerk," Alex moaned as Tim bit her neck in response to her actions, causing Tim to smirk.

"Bed… now," Alex groaned as Tim pushed himself against her and tightened his hold on her hips.

Tim lifted her up by her waist and kicked the bedroom door shut behind them.


	12. Chapter 12

**Wow, Ladies, I feel like I'm jumping the shark with this but I had to, so please give me feedback wthat you think. Thanks for the reviews.**

**betareader: Fleur LB **

**song: Decode by Paramore**

**CHAPTER 11  
…AND THE SCARS WILL BE DEEP**

Alex slowly opened her eyes, her mouth curling to a little smile as she let out a satisfied sigh. She looked next to her, but Tim wasn't there although she heard his voice from outside. Alex reached for Tim's shirt next to the bed and put it on. She climbed out of the bed, barely feeling her legs, which wasn't such a big surprise after yesterday's events. She probably also had bruises not like she cared. She giggled at the thought they were lucky Billy wasn't home yesterday.

Alex tiptoed to the door, quietly opened it and started to the kitchen. She stopped at the moment when she heard the familiar feminine voice. Alex peeked out to find Lyla and Tim talking on the door. She couldn't hear what they were saying but the way Tim held himself and that Lyla touched his cheek softly, she didn't have to be a genius to figure out that Lyla had finally given in.

Alex swallowed hard as she watched them. Lyla's words echoed in her mind: "Do you really think pulling down Tim with you will do any good for you? Look at yourself, Alex. What have you become?" Lyla was right, I'm a mess, Alex thought. And she was also right that I desperately tried to pull Tim with me because I was afraid otherwise I would lose him. It has to stop.

Alex tiptoed back to their room, put on her jeans and shoes, grabbed her bag and threw it out of the window. She didn't want a big scene about what happened yesterday. Tim finally got Lyla, he didn't have a reason to worry about her anymore. Alex jumped out of the window, picked up her bag from the dust and went to her car.

She didn't know where to go so she decided to go to the bar, she could use a drink anyway. On her way there she called the guy who owned the place she wanted to rent.

"Hey, Phil. It's Alex Sawyer."

"Hi. Is there a problem? Did you change your mind?" Phil asked anxiously.

"No, no. Actually, I wanna move in today. I know we didn't agree this way but is it possible?" Alex asked, praying for a yes. She didn't want to spend one more night in her car.

"You are lucky, the guy who rented the place moved out yesterday so there's nothing to stop you from moving in."

"Thank you, Phil. You are awesome," Alex sighed.

"I will leave the keys under the flowerpot next to the door."

"Okay, thanks."

"You're welcome. Bye," Phil ended the call.

* * *

"Hi, baby girl," the bartender smiled warmly at Alex as she entered the bar. "Didn't know you coming today, too."

"Hey Big Joe," Alex smiled tiredly at the bartender, sitting to the counter. "I'm not here to work, I'm here to celebrate."

"You don't look like somebody who wants to celebrate. No offense," Big Joe looked over at Alex. She still wore Tim's shirt, her make up was smudged but she didn't have time to clean up. She wanted to leave before she would meet Tim.

"Just a matter of time, just a matter of time. Give me a double whiskey then one again and again and I will look like somebody who won the lottery," Alex smirked.

She sat there, drinking shot after shot, the hours passed by slowly.

"Hey, I was looking for you everywhere," Tim stopped next to her.

"Why would you do that?" Alex raised an eyebrow.

"I… I dunno… I thought maybe we should…" Tim rambled, nervously.

God, he's cute when he's nervous, Alex thought but she shook herself mentally. Pull your head out of your ass, girl, she groaned mentally.

"We should what?" she asked, sipping her whiskey.

"Talk about what happened," he finally blurted out, looking at her.

"What happened?" Alex asked like she had no clue what he was talking about.

"You and me, you know," Tim mumbled, narrowing his eyes.

"Oh, that," Alex laughed, loudly. "Timmy, we had sex. We are adults. It isn't like I lost my virginity with you, which actually I did, but we both know that didn't happen yesterday," Alex giggled. It was handy she already had some alcohol in her system.

"So that's it?" Tim studied her doubtfully and she saw a glint of hurt in his eyes.

"Yeah, no worries," she waved at him.

"When will you come home?" Tim asked after a few silent moments.

"I won't," Alex answered, simply.

"What?"

"The guy who owns the place I wanna rent called me and said I can move in today."

"Oh," Tim gasped. "Well, congratulations then," Tim mumbled, patting her on the shoulder, awkwardly.

"Thanks," Alex answered, pouring another shot to herself. "So, you and Lyla, hmm?"

"How do you know that?" Tim raised an eyebrow.

"Well, you know good news spread fast," Alex shrugged.

"And bad news even faster," Tim added, smirking.

"I didn't say that."

"But you wanted to," Tim said.

"Nope," she said, causing Tim to snort.

"What's your problem, Riggins?" Alex asked, sharply, turning to Tim. "Did you expect tears and begging or what? You know me better than that. And you weren't that good," That's it, Sawyer, keep it up, hit where it hurts the most. "No offense," she added smirking.

"Fine, I gotta go," Tim said, rushing out of the bar.

"What?" Alex looked narrowly at Joe when she heard him snorting. "Give me that bottle," she reached behind the counter, watching Joe shaking his head and she rushed out of the bar.

--------------

Alex sat on the couch in her very own new place with the bottle in her hands, feeling all alone and pathetic, thinking about what a mess she'd made.

_How can I decide what's right?_

_When you're clouding up my mind_

_I can't win your losing fight all the time_

Alex knew she hurt Tim when she pretended to be an ice-hearted bitch as he would say. But her dad always said the best defense is a good offense and she lived by that.

_How can I ever own what's mine_

_When you're always taking sides_

What did he expect? She wouldn't beg him to choose her over Garrity.

_But you won't take away my pride_

_No not this time_

_Not this time_

She did what she could in her own strength. At least she kept her pride.

_How did we get here?_

_Well I used to know you so well_

_How did we get here?_

_Well I think I know_

It was all her fault. It was the biggest mistake of her life to fall for him. How could she even think somebody would want her? And over Miss Perfection… Sure… Way to go, Sawyer.

_Do you see what we've done?_

_We've gone and made such fools of ourselves_

_Do you see what we've done?_

_We've gone and made such fools of ourselves_

After all it wasn't a surprise she fucked it up, too. It was just matter of time before something like this happened. Alex Sawyer always found a way to make a mess out of everything.

_How did we get here?_

_Well I used to know you so well, yeah yeah_

_How did we get here?_

_Well I used to know you so well_

_I think I know_

_I think I know_

And that was it. The end of something she thought she would have her whole life. There was no way they could go on after this. Well, you made it, deal with the consequences, she thought.


	13. Chapter 13

**OMG! It's like Christmas came late :D You made me so happy with the lots of reviews :D I hope you will like this one, too. I try to show both sides of the coin, not like I think that would help Tim :LOL: The next chapter will be kinda shocking so review if you wanna read it soon ;)**

**betareader: Fleur LB**

**song: It doesn't matter by Alison Krauss**

**CHAPTER 12  
LET IT BE**

Alex laid on Jason and Herc's couch, grinning as she listened to their fight. Those two always could find something they could disagree about and it had only gotten worse since they moved in together. Though Alex didn't mind, it was fun listening to them and they kept her busy so she didn't think about other things.

"I'm going to have a drink now," Herc yelled, rolling out, shutting the door hard.

"Unbelievable," Jason mumbled.

"I'm having a party next Saturday, to celebrate my new place," Alex said.

"And you want me to be there?" Jason asked.

"No, I invited the Queen of England so you can't come since you aren't a lord," Alex groaned.

"I just asked," Jason answered, rolling his eyes.

"Well, don't ask dumb questions. Bring Herc, too, you two are fun," Alex laughed.

"Hey, Six," Tim rushed into the room, causing Alex to almost choke. "Didn't know you were here," Tim smirked when he saw Alex.

"Didn't know you were coming," Alex answered, getting up from the couch.

Jason moved his gaze between them, realizing something wasn't right. They stood there, glaring at each other like they were ready to beat each other any minute.

"How is Billy?" Alex asked, breaking the tensed silence.

"Why don't you go and ask him? You are such great friends, aren't ya?" Tim said, probably meaning Alex asked Billy to help her carry over her stuff to her new place.

"Whatever," Alex shrugged. "Don't forget Saturday," she pointed at Jason before leaving but not without sending one nasty look to Tim.

"What was that?" Jason asked as the door closed and Tim sat on the couch.

"What?" Tim asked, dumbly.

"Don't play with me, Tim. I know you, something is up with you two," Jason looked at Tim sharply.

"Fine. It's just the usual," Tim shrugged, bored.

"Oh, no. Stop lying to me. It isn't the usual. I saw the way you looked at each other. It's far from usual," Jason pushed, knowing something definitely was wrong.

"You slept with her," Jason said with wide eyes when Tim didn't said anything. "You did, didn't ya?"

"And what if I did?" Tim answered, edgy.

"You idiot! I told ya don't do it," Jason raised his voice. "Are you out of your mind? What the hell is wrong with you?! Can't you see Alex is dancing on the edge and the weakest breeze can push her down?! And then you go and sleep with her to leave her right after it for Lyla?!"

"It wasn't like that," Tim groaned.

"Then tell me, Tim what it was like? Because it surely looks like that to me," Jason asked angrily.

When Jason told Tim not to start anything with Alex, he did it exactly because of this, because he knew something would go wrong. He knew both of them too well to think they could be together like normal people. All those scars they had and the walls they built made it almost impossible for them to get together.

"We had a fight, then we made out, Lyla came in the morning, telling me she decided to give me a chance, I told her I'd got some things to take care of so we could talk later. And then Alex was already gone and she was a complete bitch when I finally found her. So yes, I got together with Lyla," Tim shrugged, pretending he didn't care at all. "What should have I done? Beg her or what?"

"You'd better go," Jason shook his head.

"Are ya kickin' me out?" Tim raised an eyebrow, surprised.

"Yes, Tim, I'm kicking you out before I say something that I'll regret. Like I hope you know that if something happens to Alex, you will be a big part of it," Jason said, looking hard at Tim.

"Nothing is going to happen with her," Tim stated, swallowing hard as he made his way out.

He didn't want to think about it. Alex was as strong as iron. And what the hell? It wasn't like he dumped her, she was the one who said what happened meant nothing.

* * *

Alex stood leaning against her car in front of the school, waiting for Tyra so they could go to Applebees together. Mrs. Taylor kept her promise and suspended Alex for a month and Alex was almost happy about it.

At least she had some time to relax now that she didn't have to go to school. Also, it was worth it. She'd wanted to hit Lyla for such a long time ago. Landry said Tyra laughed hysterically when she saw Lyla with the purple spots around her eyes. Well, that was one helluva punch, Alex smiled to herself.

"What are ya smiling at?" Tyra asked, waving to Alex.

"Just thinking about my fantastic right hook," Alex answered, laughing.

"I still can't forgive you that I missed it. I told ya to tell me when you beat her up," Tyra said with fake anger in her voice.

"Next time I'll send you an invitation." Alex grinned.

"Tyra," Landry called, walking toward them with Tim at his side.

"I wanted to give you the papers before you go to work," Landry mumbled, digging in his bag.

"Sawyer," Tim smirked, stopping in front of them.

"Riggins," Alex made a face, pulling her sunglasses to her eyes.

"Clarke," Landry grinned, dumbly as he gave the papers to Tyra, not noticing the tension in the air.

"Alex, can I talk to you for a sec?" Tyra grabbed Alex and started to pull Alex away.

"What's going on?" Tyra looked at Alex, sharply when they were a few feet away.

"I dunno, you tell me," Alex shrugged, bored.

"Alexandra Meredith Sawyer, I've been your best friend since we were seven so don't even try to play dumb with me. What's going on with you and Tim?"

"Tyra, you're imagining things," Alex rolled her eyes.

"Oh my God, you slept with him, didn't you?!" Tyra raised her voice, causing Tim and Landry to turn toward them.

"Jesus, woman, no need to freak out," Alex groaned. "It's not big deal. It isn't like I wanna marry him. We fucked and that's it."

"You… You're out of your mind. And honestly, I watched you for days and if you ask me you are far from okay."

"Well, then good thing I don't," Alex started away. "Are you comin' or what?" Alex asked Tyra, sitting in her car.

* * *

It was Friday night and Alex was at the party at the Riggins' house, celebrating the Panthers' latest win. She danced with a guy, alcohol already running through her body. Anger overwhelmed her when she arrived and saw Tim with Lyla so she decided to call it a whiskey night again.

"Hey, do you wanna leave?" she asked the guy with her hottest smile on her face.

"Sure," the guy grinned at her. "I'll go and get my car."

"'Kay, I'll meet you outside," Alex said.

After she found Tyra and told her she was leaving, Alex was on her way out when somebody grabbed her arm.

"What do you think you are doing?" Tim looked at her narrowly.

Alex moved her gaze between Tim's eyes and his hand on her arm.

"Are you sure you wanna do this now?" she cocked her head to the side, pulling her arm out of Tim's hold. "Because I got a feeling you managed to hide your little scars from your precious love," she grinned wickedly, leaning close to Tim, her hand wandering to his back.

"I don't think you wanna let her know her newly reformed boyfriend wasn't such a good boy," she whispered to him, her hands leaving trails of electricity as her finger tips brushed against the scratched she'd left on him, causing Tim to swallow hard.

Tim's eyes searched for Lyla, finding her watching them cautiously. Alex followed Tim's gaze, then nodded slightly.

"Thought so," she said, stepping back from Tim. "Have a nice night, cherry pie," she patted him on the shoulder and started out, leaving Tim staring after her.

Alex sat in the car with the guy she hooked up on the party. His hands wound to her thigh and Alex started to feel sick.

What was she doing there? She didn't even know his name. Not like that caused a problem in the past. Why did it now? As his hands wound further, Alex felt like screaming.

"Stop the car," she command, pushing the guy's hand away.

"What?" he looked at her, dumbly.

"I said stop the car," Alex yelled at him.

"Okay, fine. God," the guy groaned, stepping on the brake.

Alex jumped out of the car at the moment it stopped and shut the door.

"Bitch," the guy yelled to her as he drove away.

She stood next to the road, trying to light a cigarette with her shaky hand. Alex looked at the sky as rain started to fall silently. She curled her arms around herself, shivering from the cold drops touching her bare skin.

_It doesn't matter what I want_

_It doesn't matter what I need_

She started to sing quietly and put away the cigarette. Her anger disappeared, loneliness taking its place.

_It doesn't matter if I cry_

_Don't matter if I bleed_

Tears slowly rolled down her cheek as started to walk home.

_You've been on a road_

_Don't know where it goes or where it leads_

She would lose him anyway. Certainly she wasn't the influence Lyla would want around her boyfriend. And people always leave, that's the way they are, Alex thought.

_It doesn't matter what I want_

_It doesn't matter what I need_

_If you've made up your mind to go_

_I won't beg you to stay_

If Tim wanted to go, then let it be. She wouldn't grovel. It wouldn't do any good anyway just made her feel more miserable.

_You've been in a cage_

_Throw you to the wind you fly away_

She tried to tie him to her and it didn't help, he still left her.

_It doesn't matter what I want_

_It doesn't matter what I need_

_It doesn't matter if I cry_

_Doesn't matter if I bleed_

_Feel the sting of tears_

_Falling on this face you've loved for years_

Alex was thankful nobody could see her, she didn't need anybody's pity. Nothing could touch her heart until now and she wasn't about to let herself break down. She'd cry away her pain tonight and tomorrow would be a whole new day.


	14. Chapter 14

**Hey, Ladies. I have to tell you this chapter was one of the hardest thing I've ever written. I almost cried writing it :S**

**Thank You for the reviews. I'm pretty nervous what you think about this, so feedback, please :)**

**THIS CHAPTER IS RATED M BECAUSE OF VIOLENCE!!! If you can't deal with it, don't read, please. You can send me a pm and I'll tell you what happened ;)**

**betareader: Fleur LB**

**song: Maybe by Kelly Clarkson**

**+ a photo of how I imagine Alex: http://i140 dot photobucket dot com/albums/r22/Dareia_album/alex dot jpg**

**CHAPTER 13  
BROKEN**

Alex laid on her couch, watching Gone With The Wind, empty beer cans and a full ashtray on the table, a huge box of caramel ice cream in her hands. She wore a shabby Led Zeppelin shirt, her hair pulled up on the top of her head, her eyes red and puffy from the endless crying.

Alex realized she didn't only cry because of Tim, she cried over her dad, her mom and all the hurt she had to suffer through her life. It was like a dam cracked in her, giving free way for all of her pain to flare.

The film was about to end when somebody knocked on the door.

"Door is open," Alex said, putting a huge spoon of ice cream into her mouth, her eyes glued to the tv screen as Scarlett begged for Rhett not to leave her.

"Oh, girl, this is so not okay," Tyra groaned, looking over the room, then Alex.

"Hi to you, too, Tyra," Alex rolled her eyes.

Thank God she ran out of tears three days ago, Alex thought.

"Okay, get yourself together. You need some fresh air, I'll take you out," Tyra commanded, yanking the blanket off of Alex. "It's homecoming."

"I don't wanna go," Alex rolled her eyes, trying to get back her blanket.

"I don't remember asking you what you want," Tyra narrowed her eyes, stopping in front of the tv.

"I'll say it another way. I'm not going anywhere," Alex stated. "And now move, I wanna see Clark Gable."

"What are these?" Tyra asked, picking up some dvds from the table. "Wuthering Heights, Moulin Rouge, Casablanca, Cruel Intentions… Seriously?" Tyra raised an eyebrow.

"What? I'm in the mood to watch them," Alex shrugged.

"Alex, stop the crap. You're acting childish," Tyra groaned, frustrated, putting back the dvds to the table.

"I'm mourning, Tyra," Alex glared at Tyra, taking back her blanket. "And I don't give a damn if you think that's childish. I just wanna stay here alone, eating ice cream and pizza, finish watching Gone with the wind, then start Casablanca or Cruel Intentions or any of my fave movies," Alex raised her voice.

"Alex…"

"Just leave me alone, please," Alex sighed.

"Alright," Tyra sighed. "Call me if you need anything, okay?"

"No worries, I'll be fine," Alex smiled at her friend.

"'Kay. But you'd better know I'll come back tomorrow and you'll have to come out like it or not," Tyra pointed at Alex as she opened the door.

"Have a great homecoming," Alex grinned at Tyra, causing her to roll her eyes before she left.

Alex watched Cruel Intentions, shifting uncomfortably on the couch. When did I become such a loser? What am I doing? she groaned, mentally frustrated.

"What the hell am I doing?" Alex said out loud, asking herself.

She jumped up from the couch, put on her shoes and rushed out.

* * *

"So, I'm here. What now?" Alex thought to herself when she arrived to the homecoming.

Then she saw Mrs. Taylor next to the stage, talking with somebody and a fantastic idea came into her mind. She ran toward Mrs. Taylor.

"Good evening, Mrs. Taylor," Alex panted, stopping in front of Mrs. Taylor.

"Alex," Mrs. Taylor looked at her with wide eyes.

"Mrs. Taylor, I know you just tried to help me and I know I was very disrespectful and I'm so sorry about it, I really am sorry." The words rushed out of her rapidly. "And I know I don't deserve it but please let me up on the stage."

"I'm sorry, Alex but I can't," Mrs. Taylor stated. "Landry and the band are ready so…"

"Please, Mrs. Taylor," Alex practically begged. She had to be on that stage. She couldn't say with words what she felt but she could sing it.

"Fine," Mrs. Taylor sighed. "Talk to Landry and if it's okay with them, you can go."

"Thank you, Mrs. Taylor," Alex hugged her, causing Mrs. Taylor to let out a surprised gasp.

"Landry," Alex waved to Landry.

"Alex, hey. I thought you weren't coming," Landry said, watching her curiously.

"Would you mind if I go on stage before you?" Alex asked.

"No," Landry answered, raising an eyebrow. "What are you planning?"

"You'll see," Alex grinned at him.

Breathe in, breathe out, Alex repeated to herself as she stepped in front of the microphone.

"Hi," Alex said to the microphone, rocking on her heels, nervously. "Okay, this is so much harder than I thought it would be," she muttered dumbly as everybody stared at her.

"I'm Alex Sawyer. Probably most of you know me as 'that Sawyer girl'," she giggled. "So only my closest friends know that I sing." She stopped for a moment, lost in her thoughts.

"Okay, that isn't true anymore since Miss Lyla Garrity felt she has to share it with Dillon High even if she knew it would hurt me. Let's give it up for the kindhearted Miss Garrity," Alex clapped her hands, grinning as her eyes found Lyla in the crowd next to Tim.

She could see Lyla's eyes drop to the ground, then she started to leave. Well, Alex didn't plan this but it made her feel good.

"But… And this is going to be a big surprise, I'm not here to talk about her," Alex stopped again, swallowing hard. "I would like to sing a song. Oh and Landry, thanks for the guitar, I owe you." She smiled at Landry, who stood behind the stage.

"Okay, so I should start now, shouldn't I?" Alex swallowed, looking for Tim in the crowd, hoping he hadn't gone after Garrity. She smiled as her gaze met with Tim's eyes and started to play the guitar. She closed her eyes when she started to sing.

_I'm strong_

_But I break_

_I'm stubborn_

_And I make plenty of mistakes_

_Yeah I'm hard_

_And life with me is never easy_

_To figure out, to love_

_I'm jaded but oh so lovely_

_All you have to do is hold me_

_And you'll know and you'll see just how sweet it can be_

_If you'll trust me, love me, let me_

_Maybe, maybe_

_Someday_

_When we're at the same place_

_When we're on the same road_

_When it's OK to hold my hand_

_Without feeling lost_

_Without all the excuses_

_When it's just because you love me, you let me, you need me_

_Then maybe, maybe_

_All you have to do is hold me_

_And you'll know and you'll see just how sweet it can be_

_If you'll trust me, love me, let me_

_Maybe, maybe_

_I'm confusing as hell_

_I'm north and south_

_And I'll probably never have it all figured out_

_But what I know is I wasn't meant to walk this world without you_

_And I promise I'll try_

_Yeah I'm gonna try to give you every little part of me_

_Every single detail you missed with your eyes_

_Then maybe_

_Maybe, yeah maybe_

_One day_

_We'll meet again and you'll need me, you'll see me completely_

_Every little bit_

_Oh yeah maybe you'll love me, you'll love me then_

_I don't want to be tough_

_And I don't want to be proud_

_I don't need to be fixed and I certainly don't need to be found_

_I'm not lost_

_I need to be loved_

_I just need to be loved_

_I just want to be loved by you and I won't stop 'cause I believe_

_That maybe, yeah maybe_

_Maybe, yeah maybe_

_I should know better than to touch the fire twice_

_But I'm thinking maybe, yeah maybe you're mine_

_Maybe, love maybe_

The crowd cheered happily when Alex finished the song. The feeling was incredible. She felt happy. Even if Tim chose Garrity, she tried, Alex thought.

Alex just got home when somebody knocked on the door. She ran excited to open it.

"Tim," Alex grinned as she opened the door but her smile faded immediately when she saw who stood there. "Ryan," she swallowed hard.

"Hello, babydoll," Ryan smirked.

Alex tried to shut the door, panic growing inside her but Ryan pushed her hard, causing her to fall back and hit the back of her head. Ryan stepped inside, closing the door behind him, putting the key in his pocket.

"Did you miss me?" Ryan turned to her, glaring.

"Go to hell," Alex groaned, trying to stand up.

"You think that's the way you should talk to me?" Ryan yelled at her, pulled her up by her arm and shook her.

Alex tried to fight back, trying to kick him, her nails digging into his face. She screamed when she felt her shoulder bail out, her legs almost gave out from under her as the pain paralyzed her body, tears starting to roll out of her eyes.

"Do you think I deserve this?" Ryan pushed her away and hit her so hard, Alex fell on the glass table in the middle of the room and it broke loudly under her.

She felt the blood running from her nose and out. Small glass chips bored into her bare arms. Her ears rang from the punch. She was ready to stand up but Ryan was faster than her.

"How could you do this to me?" Ryan shouted, kicking her in the stomach and she practically flew to the wall.

Alex gasped, she saw stars in front of her eyes, her vision became blurry, she could tell some of her ribs were broke.

"I loved you and you left me," Ryan shouted. "But I forgive you," he lowered his voice.

Alex eyes darted toward the baseball bat that was a few feet away from her. Her whole body was in pain but she knew she had to reach it somehow.

"Because I know you love me, too, I just have to remind you."

Alex started to crawl toward the bat but Ryan grabbed her and towered above her, pushing her legs apart with his knee. Alex screamed as loud as she could. She tried to kick him, and slid out from under him, but he held her tight. Ryan started to unbutton his jeans and Alex felt like she was going to be sick.

It's now or never, she thought and reached for the bat again. The bat fell hard on the floor as her fingertips touched it. Ryan lifted his head up, surprised, but Alex managed to grab it before he could react and hit him as hard as she could.

Ryan collapsed on her, the whole weight of his body pressing down on her. She whimpered, trying to push him away. Her whole body shook and she thought she would be sick as she smelled the blood surrounding them.

Finally, she slid out from under him and crawled to the bathroom, locking the door. She reached into her pocket and dialed Tim's number.

It rang out a couple of times but he didn't answer. Alex started to sob so hard she could barely breathe and her broken ribs only made it worse. She tried to call Tim again but when he didn't answer, she dialed Billy.

"Alex," Billy yelled as he made his way in the messed up room.

He stopped for a moment, staring at the body in front of him then went toward the bathroom.

"Alex, honey, are you in there?" he knocked lightly on the door. "It's me, Billy. Let me in, sweety."

The door opened in front of him and Billy gasped when he saw Alex. Her white shirt was colored with her blood, her face was bruised and she looked so scared, he was afraid she wouldn't let him touch her to take her out.

Tim was almost at Alex when he saw the blue and red lights all over the street. He stopped in front of Alex's place, seeing Billy's truck there along with the ambulance and police cars. He saw Billy and ran toward him.

He stopped as he saw Billy was standing next to Alex. She was on a stretcher in the ambulance.

"Alex…" Tim whispered, stepping next to her, reaching toward her face but she turned away, tears rolling down her cheeks.

Tim pulled his hand back, looking at his brother. Billy shook his head, silently.

"Do you want me to go with you, honey?" Billy moved his gaze to Alex, who nodded.

"Okay."

Billy got in the ambulance with the two men, leaving Tim staring after them as they pulled away.


	15. Chapter 15

**The day has come, Ladies, last chapter is here. Thank You for all the support, faves, reviews and alerts, they mean a lot. All the feedbacks and that you loved my story and Alex so much made me so happy you can't even imagine. Thank You again. **

**Don't forget to read the authors note when you finished with this!!!! There are some interesting info in it ;)**

**Song I listened to while I wrote: Alexandra Leaving by Leonard Cohen, this is a beautiful song, you should all listen to it :)**

**betareader: Fleur LB**

**CHAPTER 14  
ALEXANDRA LEAVING**

"Jesus," Herc hissed when he saw Alex. "You really have been beaten up, girl."

"What? What are you talking about?" Alex touched her bruised face in panic. "Oh, God, I almost forgot about it. Thanks for reminding me, Herc," Alex smirked.

Two weeks had past since Ryan attacked Alex but she still had nasty bruises all over her face and her ribs were killing her. But the worst part was her aching soul. She was broken, both physically and mentally.

Ryan had been arrested in an expedited procedure. Though it didn't give her any peace of mind. She still woke up every night, screaming and crying, her body shaking with terror. On the other hand, she learned there were people in the world who really cared about her.

The Taylors collected her from the hospital and she spent few days with them. Then she went home and Tyra, Landry, Billy or Jason were always there with her. They never left her alone, not even for a minute. It was nice to have all these people around her.

It was nice she didn't have to pretend she was strong. All of her life, she'd worn a mask, pretended she was someone who was always in control, never feeling anything, never truly let anyone in but that changed. Alexandra Meredith Sawyer changed. She didn't want to be cold anymore even if it scared her.

"Anyway, I'm glad you came. You've been always the realist. Tell him he's an idiot," Herc groaned, pointing at Jason.

"Ahm, you're an idiot, no offense," Alex smiled at Jason. "Why did I say it?" she looked back at Herc.

"I'm going to be a father," Jason grinned.

"What? Oh my gosh! I'm so happy for you," Alex ran to Jason, hugging him tightly. "Au, au, auch…" she hissed. "Now I really forgot about my ribs."

"I don't even know why I thought you're smarter than that," Herc groaned again, before he left.

"What's his problem?" Alex asked, looking at the closed door.

"He doesn't think the baby is mine," Jason sighed.

"Oh… Is it?"

"Yes, for sure," Jason answered as a matter of fact.

"Okay. So who is the girl?" Alex asked, sitting on the couch, trying to find a comfortable position.

"Her name is Erin. She's a waitress at a restaurant. We spent a night together after she saved me from my awful date," Jason answered.

"I remember that. I would say bizarre instead of awful," Alex laughed.

"She doesn't wanna keep the baby," Jason sighed, sadly.

"What?" Alex gasped, shocked. How could anyone not want Jason Street's baby?

"And I think I made it worse when I talked to her… I think I scared her to death. I was like a total psycho," Jason shook his head, remembering how his last conversation with Erin went.

"I'm sure it's gonna be fine, Jay," Alex smiled at him, reassuring.

"Have you met Tim since…"

"No," Alex shook her head, glancing away.

Everybody was there with her except the one person she wanted the most. She waited for Tim everyday but he never showed up, not even a phone call from him. First it hurt her, it truly did but she decided she would be happy for what she had, for the people who cared about her.

"He didn't come to me either," Jason mumbled.

"Because he slept with your girlfriend," Alex groaned.

"Because he thought it was his fault," Jason rolled his eyes. "And I think he thinks it's his fault, what happened to you…"

"Whatever," Alex shrugged.

"So you're leaving?" Jason looked at her after a few moments.

"Yeah," Alex sighed. "Actually, I came to say goodbye. I wanna be in San Antonio before dark."

"Are you sure you wanna do this?" Jason asked, studying her.

"Yes, I have to. I need a clear card, a new start," Alex explained.

"Do you know where're you going?" Jason asked.

"Not yet. I'll figure it out on the road," Alex answered.

"I'm going to miss you," Jason sighed.

"Oh, I'm going to miss you, too," Alex stood up, hugging Jason, careful not to hurt her wounds.

* * *

"Hi, sorry, I'm looking for Erin," Alex said to the woman behind the counter.

"She could be back any minute," the woman smiled at her warmly.

"Thank you."

Alex only had to waited a few minutes before she saw Erin.

"Hey, hi. I'm Alex Sawyer, I'm Jason's friend…"

"Leave me alone," Erin glared at her.

"Please, just give me a few minutes, please," Alex asked her, practically begging.

"Fine. Five minutes and that's it," Erin stated.

"Five minutes," Alex nodded, smiling.

"I've known Jason since I was born and you have to know he's one of the most amazing men I've ever known. You know, football was his life and you would have thought he'd've given up after was got paralyzed but he didn't because he's strong. He was able to move on after it. And you know he's such a good man.

"This little life in you is a part of him and it can't be bad. Just give him a chance to show you what an incredible man he is. He would never let you down and I know he will be able to take care of you and the baby and he will love you both more than his own life.

"I only ask you to hear him out when he comes to you again."

Erin's eyes filled with tears as she listened to Alex. Maybe it was because of the hormones but she'd rather thought it was because this girl who she didn't even know talked about Jason with such an admiration in her voice that she was almost 99% sure of her decision without talking to Jason again.

* * *

"Tim," Jason yelled, pounding on the door.

He let himself in after a few minutes of pointless shouting. Tim was passed out on the couch, Jason could smell the alcohol radiating from him.

"Hey," Jason pushed him, rudely.

"What?" Tim woke with a start. "What the hell is your problem, Six?" Tim asked, rubbing his eyes.

"What's my problem? What's your problem?!" Jason raised his voice.

"I don't know what you're talkin' about," Tim smirked.

"You exactly know what I'm talkin about. I'm talking about how you haven't seen Alex since she was attacked."

Tim glanced away, then reached for a bottle of beer on the table.

"She's leaving, you idiot," Jason yelled at him, pushing the bottle out of his hand.

"What is wrong with you?" Tim yelled back at Jason.

"No, Tim, what is wrong with you?! I said, Alex is leaving. Today. Do you understand that? She won't come back. So you can decide whether you're going to sit here, feeling sorry for yourself and be a coward or you can go and tell her you love her because I know you do."

* * *

"I can't believe you're leaving," Tyra sighed, looking over at Alex's empty place where only one more box was left.

"No worries, I'll call you," Alex hugged her.

"Well, you'd better not disappear on me or I'll go and hunt you down," Tyra smiled.

"I wouldn't risk that. Now go before I start to cry," Alex grinned at her.

"Are you sure you can take that out alone?" Tyra asked concerned, glancing at the box.

"Yes, Mom. Go," Alex pushed her toward the door.

"Okay, but call me when you got there," Tyra commanded.

"I'll call you," Alex rolled her eyes, watching Tyra leaving.

She bent down for the box, then turned to take it to her car when she knocked into somebody.

"Ouch," she hissed as the box pressed into her stomach.

"Sorry," Tim mumbled. "I'll take it," he said, taking the box out of her hands.

Alex watched as he put the box in her car, standing in the door. She sighed, locked the door, putting the key under the flowerpot. She started toward her car where Tim stood, staring at the ground in front of him.

"So… you're leaving," he mumbled when Alex stopped in front of him.

"Pretty much seems so," Alex answered, only this time her voice missed the usual sarcastic tone.

"Where?" Tim asked, glancing up at her.

"Dunno yet," Alex answered and Tim nodded, glancing away.

They stood there, silently for a few minutes, both of them staring far away.

"Tim, if you got something to tell me, say it now," Alex moved her gaze to Tim.

"I…" Tim started, meeting Alex's eyes. "Take care…" he mumbled, dropping his eyes on the ground again.

Alex nodded, moving her hand to his cheek and lightly brushed her lips against his.

"Someday… Maybe…" she smiled at him, sadly, her forehead, leaning against his.

Then she got in the car and drove away without glancing back.


	16. AN

**_Hello, Ladies,_**

**_So, if you read this, you already read the last chapter and I can imagine how you feel. Well, I felt sad when I wrote but I planned this since I started this story. _**

**_But no worries. Since I got so nice feedbacks, I decided to write a sequel :)_**

**_Are you happy? I am :D I already know what I'm going to do about it and it will be very exciting ;)_**

**_That's it for now. Thank You again for all the support. I love You all._**


	17. AN 2

**A/N: Hey, Ladies. I wanted all of you to know, prologue for the sequel is up. Please review because I'm only going to update if I got at least 5 reviews. Thank You :)**


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